Brett & Haley

Six

2012-01-21T20:23:00.001-07:00

Madeline,

My little newborn is gone and has been replaced by an active and rambunctious six month old. On Christmas eve you started sitting on your own for more than five- ten minutes at a time. Before this day, you only sat for short bits of time (a minute or two). Now you can sit completely unassisted and you rarely fall accidentally. When you do decide you've had enough of sitting you either roll to your side or you lean forward onto your hands and knees and lower yourself onto your belly.

You are rolling over a lot. You use your ability to roll to move quickly around the room and get to your favorite toys. Earlier this month you learned how to lean forward from a sitting position to go onto your hands and knees. Dr. Carter said that developmentally you are 1 1/2 months ahead. Because of this he said we should get started with baby proofing our house because he suspects you'll be crawling in no time. Tonight you started dragging your body all around, in almost an army crawl. We can't believe how fast you are growing up!

You weigh 19 1/2 lbs and you are 27 3/4" long. You are mostly wearing size 12 month clothing but you still wear some 9 month clothes as well. You are staying at the top of the charts in the 97th percentile for both height and weight.

Now that you are six months old we've started solids. We started you on mashed avocado. You love it! The texture initially gives you a funny face, but quickly you are back to smiling, giggling, learning towards the spoon, and wanting more.

You love to talk. You love to babble and join in on any conversation. Your favorite things to say are "Pa Pa", "Ma Ma", "Guh Guh", "Bah Bah Bah", " Gah Ma Ma" and "Da Da". You are starting to discover more and more consonants. We're excited for you to really start talking and for you to actually associate "Ma Ma" with me and "Da da" with Daddy. We can't wait to communicate more with you as you continue to discover words. We're sure you have a lot of interesting things to say!

Your favorite toys are your big blue car key that makes sounds, your first doll, and your colorful giraffe and monkey that hang on your car seat. You also love to play with your Grandpa Birkeland's shoes. You like to untie them over and over and over again. You love to sit in your high chair and play with your toys. You toss your toys to the ground in a random order, but for some reason the blue key is almost always the very last to go. You love moving around. You love sitting on the ground, rolling around the room, and discovering whatever you can.

Now that you are six months old we are also starting to put you to bed in your crib. You're doing a great job of falling asleep in your crib for naps and bedtime. You sleep in your crib for the first 6-7 hours of the night and then you come in bed with Mommy and Daddy for the rest of the night to snuggle.

We love you Maddie girl. We are so glad you came to our family.

Love,

Mommy and Daddy

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T14:22:00.000-07:00

5

2011-12-21T15:44:00.000-07:00

Dear Maddie,

You are five months old and full of smiles. You are the happiest and most content baby girl. We are so excited to celebrate Christmas with you this year.

You weigh nearly 19 lbs. You are mostly wearing size 9 month clothing but you still wear some size 6-9 month clothes as well.

You love to talk. You are starting to discover more and more consonants. What used to be "Oooowwaaahhh" has now turned into "Baaah Bah Bah!" Sometimes you even say "Mah Mah" or "Dah Dah" which makes your Daddy and I really happy. And every morning when you first wake up and we say "Hi!" you say "Hi" back. Of course, we don't count any of this as your first words because we know you have no idea what you are really saying. But it still melts our hearts as you continue to mimic the sounds you hear.

You are finally rolling over again! You started rolling over quite early in life, around seven weeks, and then those thighs got in the way. Earlier this month you started rolling over again and again and again. You are a master now.

You continue to sit on your own for longer and longer bits of time. You can hold yourself up for thirty seconds to a minute before you throw yourself back in excitement or lean and fall to the side. Daddy or I are always close by to catch you just in case.

You are getting more interested in faces. You love to grab Daddy's face when he talks to you. You mirror our facial features as we talk and laugh with you.

You love being in your Johnny jump up and the sling. You hate missing out on anything. You are quite the social girl. You love visiting your cousins. They make you laugh by playing peek-a-boo and keep away with you. Your favorite toy is still your noisy paper. You are starting to love your books too. You love handling the books and turning the pages yourself.

We talk to Grandma and Grandpa Birkeland on Skype at least a few times a week. You love to talk to Grandma and Grandpa while they are on their mission in Sweden.

Happy five months baby girl! Next month we'll be talking solids!

Three years going on forever

2011-12-19T13:44:00.001-07:00

Three years ago, on a white December morning

we made us forever.

Today, we celebrate as a family of three.

Kewpie Maddie

2011-12-13T11:07:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or does Maddie look like a total Kewpie Doll in this pic?

Away in a Manger

2011-12-07T13:22:00.001-07:00

Madeline Jaye Birkeland made her acting debut on December 1st, 2011 in a performance as the Christ Child in her ward nativity that is already stirring up Oscar buzz. Fans were in awe of her peaceful portrayal of the Divine Infant.

When asked what the hardest part was while prepping for the part, Madeline said she spent all four months of her life preparing so that she could get through the 45 minute show without fussing.

She said, "When I read the script, which was inspired by the scriptures and the hymn Away in a Manger, I was surprised when I read the line 'The little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes'. I know that Christ was perfect, but I am definitely not perfect. So playing a perfect baby was difficult and took a lot of work."

Her onscreen mother, and mother in real life, Haley Birkeland agrees. "Most actors and actresses have to work hard in order to make themselves cry. But it is 100 times more difficult for a baby to suppress that instinct. Madeline did a great job keeping her cool while she was on a hot stage surrounded by Primary children and adults dressed as angels, shepherds, and wise men."

We asked Madeline if it was difficult to play a male role as a female actress. She replied that she was inspired by the actress Mary Martin who played Peter Pan. "If you are a good actress, gender doesn't matter."

Besides making a slight cooing noise when her daddy smiled at her, Madeline didn't make another sound during the entire production. Fans praised her for her performance remarking that "She was the most quiet Baby Jesus I've ever seen!"

Others couldn't get over her wispy white hair and glorious thighs with rolls upon rolls of darling baby fat.

Luckily Madeline isn't self conscious of her weight.

"I'm a girl with curves!" She proudly states.

We look forward to seeing more from this rookie actress.

Okay so besides the Oscar nod and the quotes from Madeline this is all pretty much true, including the part that Madeline was silent for the entire performance. Madeline played the Christ Child and Brett and I played Mary and Joseph for the ward nativity. It was a wonderful experience that we all enjoyed.

Decorating the Christmas Tree

2011-12-01T00:28:00.001-07:00

This last sequence of photos is my favorite! :)

Thanks

2011-11-25T10:09:00.001-07:00

Our Thanksgiving morning started with the annual Birkeland Flag Football Turkey Bowl! Maddie and I went and cheered on Brett while he played. We also took pictures and video of the game. It was a great turn out and the weather has never been better. Oh, and Brett's team won. :)

The Flag Football Boys

The night before Thanksgiving we moved all the furniture out of the family room and set up the table, chairs, and decorations. (The "Give Thanks" banner was a total last minute addition, but it didn't cost a thing and I think it turned out well.) Before dinner we had a Skype chat with Brett's parents who are currently serving a temple mission in Stockholm Sweden. The grandkids loved being able to see Grandma and Grandpa. A few of the kids sang songs to them, one of the two year olds told them over and over again that she had pockets, the other two year old spent the majority of the conversation rolling dough in his hands and telling them over and over that he was making a snake. It was a blast.

Dinner was incredible. We all had different food assignments and when it all came together it all turned out amazing. Dinner included honey baked ham, a very tender and delicious turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, sweet potato souffle, layered jello, garden corn, homemade rolls & bread sticks, banana bread, salad, and an array of cookies, pies, and treats.

Halfway through dinner, Maddie was pretty tuckered out. I'd blame the turkey, but obviously she didn't eat any.

I made the homemade rolls. They turned out delicious!

Brett made his famous chocolate chip banana bread!

These are the homemade bread sticks I made. Mmmmm!

We had a blast visiting after dinner. The kids colored and played in the yard while the "adults" (is it weird I still feel like a "kid"?) visited around the dinner table. Shanni and her big brother Brian had some fun chilling together. Shanni loved being in the middle of all the commotion.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Four

2011-11-21T20:04:00.002-07:00

Maddie enjoyed helping Brett test the lights for Christmas!

Sweet Maddie. You are now four months old. 1/3 of a year already!

You continue to grow taller and wider every day. At your four month appointment you were nearly 26 1/2" tall and you weighed 17 lbs and 3 oz. This puts you in the 98th percentile for both length and weight. You are a big girl, so most people think you are a lot older than you really are. You are now wearing size 6-9 month clothing and you've been in size three diapers for almost a month.

You're becoming such a great sleeper. You sleep for about 10-11 hours straight at night. The only down side is that you are still quite the night owl and you don't go to sleep until 11:00 or 11:30. Needless to say, Mommy gets a lot done in the morning before you wake up. But, we're still working on getting you to sleep a little earlier each night.

You are a fast eater and you now eat about six times a day. I sometimes wonder if you are getting enough because after eight minutes of eating you are done and ready to play. The pediatrician told us not to worry, "We're obviously not concerned about whether or not she is getting enough calories." Well said Dr. Carter, well said.

If you aren't sleeping or eating, you are most likely laughing. And it's not just a polite "Ha!" You have a full on belly laugh just like I did when I was a baby. You laugh when I laugh. You laugh when we change you. You laugh when you first wake up in the morning. You giggle when we give you baths. You laugh when I touch your feet. You laugh when you see Daddy when he gets home from work. You laugh the hardest when I pretend to nibble your neck. I do my best to enjoy it while I can since I am sure by the time you are a teenager I'm sure you won't find me the slightest bit entertaining.

You can sit on your own for longer periods of time now, but Daddy or I are always close by to catch you just in case your throw yourself back. Although you were rolling over at seven weeks you are now having a bit of a harder time and rarely do it. When I mentioned this to the pediatrician he laughed and explained that your now chunky thighs were the culprit. Not to worry though, it just takes a bit more strength to move that weight around which will come as you get older and continue to practice.

You love your johnny jump up and play mat. Your favorite toys are your loud pink paper and O'ball. You are now starting to occasionally take a Binky around bedtime and nap time. We don't think it's so much the sucking you enjoy as much as you just enjoy having something in your mouth. We're pretty sure you are teething. You are drooling a ton and you love to gnaw on anything we give you (and anything you can reach).

You love to do what we call "baby sit-ups". You stretch your legs out in front of you and raise them off the ground and then lift your head and shoulders off the ground, holding your breath and crunching your little abs. Add your sly little smile and it makes for the cutest and funniest sight.

We love watching you grow up baby girl. But couldn't you just slow down a little bit?

Snow Day

2011-11-20T00:44:00.000-07:00

Today wasn't the first snow of the year, but it was the first time Madeline really saw snow. When we walked outside with her, she squinted and scrunched her nose as she fought to see through the brightness. After a few minutes she got a big grin on her face as she looked all around at the world covered in white.

She couldn't take her eyes away from the snow. I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

We were both awestruck.

Shanni: The Greatest Sister-in-Law

2011-11-17T21:35:00.001-07:00

When Brett's parents went away on their mission to Sweden, Shanni (Brett's older sister) moved in with her big sister's family. Taking care of Shanni while her parents served a mission was something Bec had always wanted to do. And why wouldn't she? Shanni is about as amazing as they come. I must admit that Shanni is my favorite sister-in-law and I guarantee that all the other Birkeland women would agree (which I'm totally okay with). I mean, how can you beat perfection?

Shanni was born with many disabilities. She cannot walk, talk, see, or eat on her own. But she has many abilities as well. Besides being an angel on earth, she can calm the most unruly grandchild. With her comes an incredible feeling of peace, contentment, and warmth. Shanni brings a smile to the faces of all who meet her. She finds ways to serve others. Just last month she donated her hair to locks of love. She has an amazing connection with children, which is why she was so good at her calling as a Primary Reverence Leader. I know that it is because of Shanni's wonderful example and calm spirit that her little brother Brett is the kind, gentle, and sincere man that he is.

I was lucky to get to spend the afternoon with Shanni and Bec's daughters yesterday, while Bec went Christmas shopping. We had a skype chat with Brett's parents. Shanni was all smiles. She loved hearing their voices. She giggled and squealed while Lynne talked to her. Later, I laid Maddie down beside Shanni and they had quite the conversation. Maddie cooed, Shanni laughed, and they both rocked back and forth.

It was the highlight of my week.

You Won't Find a Butcher's Knife in Our Bed

2011-11-16T08:03:00.003-07:00

Apparently this is the image of co-sleeping as The Milwaukee Health Department wants you to see it. The second-leading cause of infant mortality in Milwaukee is SIDS, or sudden infant death syndrome, which often results from ”unsafe sleep,” according to the health department’s website. I agree that the images on this page definitely portray "unsafe" co-sleeping. But they could very well put an image of a child in a crib with pillows and loose blankets and it would likewise be "unsafe" crib sleeping. It's an ad that is indeed shocking but not informative in the way it should be.

Co-sleeping (when done safely) actually decreases the risk of SIDS. "Worldwide research shows that the SIDS rate is lowest (and even unheard of) in countries where co-sleeping is the norm, rather than the exception" (askdrsears.com). Instead of promoting "safe sleeping" in all its forms, this ad targets co-sleeping as the root of all evil. They had good intentions but the result is completely off base.

Instead of spending money on an ad campaign aimed at scaring the community into banning the practice and making parents who do co-sleep feel like would-be murderers, why not educate parents families how to do it safely? After all, co-sleeping (when done safely) has wonderful benefits including better sleep for parents and baby, long term emotional health, decrease in the risk of SIDS, and it has been found in some studies to be safer than crib sleeping when done properly. There are also many benefits for breastfeeding mothers.

It is fascinating to see the differing views of "safe sleeping" by different cultures. Milwaukee would have you believe co-sleeping is like letting your newborn play with a butcher's knife, while mothers in countries where bed sharing/co-sleeping is the norm gasp at the thought of crib bumper use (an accessory about as common as pacifiers here in the states).

I'm not suggesting that all parents adopt the practice of co-sleeping, it isn't for everyone, nor am I suggesting that all mothers need to throw out their crib bumpers. What I do think is that we need to empower parents to make safe decisions when choosing the sleeping arrangements for their baby, whether it be in a crib in their own room, in a crib/bassinet next to the parent's bed, or in bed with mom and dad.

Turns out this ad can serve a larger purpose than shock value. It just so happens that in this photo you will see almost all of the things you should NOT do when co-sleeping. But, as a teacher, I learned that non-examples are the worst kind of examples. So, here is a list of the things I've learned one should do when sharing a bed with their baby. (These tips were shared with me by my midwife, birth instructor, and pediatrician).

Co-Sleeping Tips:

1. Place baby on his/her back.

2. Bedding should be tight fitting to a firm mattress (no large duvets, heavy blankets, large pillow tops, or feather ticks).

3. Use light blankets or sheets. Keep all blankets and pillows away from the baby's face.

4. Take precautions so the baby doesn't roll off the bed or get trapped between mattress and wall.

5. Dress baby lightly. (A great rule my pediatrician shared is that you shouldn't dress the baby in anything heavier than what you are sleeping in).

6. Have the baby sleep next to the parent that is the most aware of the baby (usually mom). This parent should sleep facing the baby.

7. Do not sleep with your child if: you under the influence of any drug or alcohol, you are a heavy sleeper, you are overly exhausted, or if you are a smoker.

8. Oh... and leave the butcher's knife in the kitchen.

I want to hear from YOU!
What do YOU think of the Milwaukee ad?

What are the sleeping arrangements in your home? How do you practice safe sleeping?
Comment below and/or send me an e-mail with your comments and a photo
of your baby sleeping safely to Haleyjaye@gmail.com
I'll share my favorites next week. :)

*Our family practices co-sleeping with our baby. We exclusively shared our bed with our baby from months 1-3. Now, she sleeps next to the bed in a bassinet for the first portion of the night and comes into the bed for the latter part of the night.

Leg Warmers

2011-11-02T08:38:00.000-06:00

Happy November!

Happy Halloween!

2011-11-01T09:05:00.001-06:00

Happy Halloween!

From our hive

to yours.

About the Costumes:
Maddie's bee costume was a gift. It's a 6-9 month costume, but we figured we'd still try to use it for Halloween. It fit her perfectly, if not a little snugly, which is a shock since she is 3 1/2 months old!

I came up with some last minute beekeeper costumes using straw hats, work gloves, and insect netting we use for Maddie's car seat and stroller. The only purchase made were the mobile bees and bees stickers from Michaels. SCORE!

Go Cardinals!

2011-10-28T18:15:00.000-06:00

Brett and Maddie are ready for game seven!

Brett bought this jacket long before we even thought of having kids. Brett has been a Cardinals fan since he was five years old and he couldn't pass up the opportunity to buy this jacket when we stumbled upon it in a thrift store. It's been hanging in the back of our closet for almost three years.

Tonight seemed like a great night to break it out.

Go Cardinals!

Three

2011-10-19T15:00:00.001-06:00

You are three months old Madeline. Why do you insist on growing so fast? I feel that at any moment I'm going to turn around and you'll be walking, riding a bike, or driving.

At three months you are full of smiles and giggles. You are so expressive. When you smile your entire face lights up. From behind, I can tell that you are smiling by the way the top of your head looks. Your family and friends can't help but smile when they see you. You brighten everyone's day.

You love talking. We can't really understand what you are saying yet, but we know you are pretty passionate about whatever it is. We ask you questions and you respond as if you know what we're talking about. You love making sounds and mimicking Daddy and me. You especially love to say "Oooowaaaah!"

We're reading Harry Potter now because a nurse told me that novels are best for babies your age. You love watching me while I read and I can see you moving your mouth and tongue trying to figure out how to make new sounds.

You are a big girl and you keep growing and growing. You are 16 lbs and around 25 1/2 inches long. You are wearing size two diapers and six month clothing. Some 3-6 month outfits fit while others can't stretch long enough or wide enough for you.

We're not sure what color your eyes are going to be but at the moment they are still light. We think you may beat the odds and have blue eyes rather than the hazel eyes that Daddy and I have.

You sleep for six-seven hours at night and then fall right back to sleep for another three hours after I feed you. Thanks for being such a great sleeper!

You are getting stronger and stronger everyday. You can sit on your own for short bits of time and you love standing up on daddy's lap. You are starting to use the Johnny Jump Up that Grandma Birkeland gave you. You're not jumping a lot yet, but you love being able to stand and twirl.

You have the happiest laugh. You laugh the most when we play peek-a-boo or when you first wake up in the morning.

We love your playful spirit.

Brett's Last Day @ BYU

2011-10-18T11:35:00.001-06:00

Brett's final class at BYU was last night. He won't officially graduate till December when he finishes his student teaching, but Maddie and I still wanted to give him a little surprise to celebrate the occasion.

He loved it!

Becoming a Mother

2011-10-05T13:34:00.004-06:00

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.
-Rajneesh

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Drive-In Movies

2011-10-01T13:43:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite summer traditions as a child was when we would bring our TV out on the front lawn along with an abundance of blankets and pillows. We called it a drive-in movie.

No drive-in was complete without caramel popcorn, red licorice, and friends. Almost every Friday and Saturday night the neighbor kids could count on the McAllisters having a drive-in the front yard.

Some summers we had a theme. I remember one summer our front yard theater only showed musicals. Another summer, only Disney movies. Another summer, only the classics like Some Like it Hot, Harvey, and Breakfast at Tiffany's.

As time went on our make-shift theater got more advanced. We'd bring out the couch, we'd hook up loud speakers, we upgraded the TV, etc. When my family moved out and my college roommates moved in, we made the term "drive-in" much more literal.

There's another reason why drive-in movies hold a special place in my heart. At the end of my freshman year of college, Brett and I went on our first date. We made caramel corn in my kitchen, picked up some Twizzlers at the grocery store, packed up my laptop and blankets, and set up a drive-in movie at the press box at East High School. We watched Roman Holiday. It was shortly after Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck kissed after escaping the police, that the battery on my laptop died and we ended up talking late into the night and doing a little kissing of our own.

For these reasons and many more, I love drive-in movies. This summer we decided to continue the tradition and introduce Madeline to my favorite summer pastime. This summer definitely didn't disappoint.

Brett hung a white sheet between two volleyball posts and we borrowed a projector. We pulled out surround sound speakers and brought the trampoline over so it was front and center. And of course, we didn't forget the caramel corn or Twizzlers (thanks to my Mom who makes it better than anyone, it is her secret recipe after all).

Maddie loved it. Each night that we had the drive-in she was a perfect angel baby. She seemed to really enjoy the music of Up! and Tangled. But we were surprised that on the night we showed Pirates of the Caribbean she was completely captivated my the film. Her eyes didn't move from the screen. She was so into it. It was adorable.

It is sad to see summer go, because with it goes our drive-in movie season. We look forward to opening up our back-yard theater again next year with a few more upgrades.

2 Months

2011-09-19T23:06:00.001-06:00

It wasn't until I was driving to the pediatrician's office that it hit me that Madeline is no longer a newborn. As of four days ago she is two months old.

Madeline has grown up a lot in two months. When she was born she weighed 8 lbs 13 oz and was 22 inches long.

Now Madeline weighs a solid 13 lbs 10 oz. And she's long too! She is now over 24" long. For height and weight she is around the 97th percentile for her age.

She is now wearing size 3 month clothing and size 2 diapers.

Our pediatrician kept on remarking on how strong she is for her age.

"Wow, she is strong." He kept saying as he tried to check her hips. She kept pushing against him and he continued to repeat over and over how strong she was.

"I don't know if I've seen a two month old with this kind of strength before!"

And it's true. She really is a strong girl. At seven weeks she turned from her stomach to her back and during tummy time she easily lifts her head up and pushes off with her legs. She's even already scooting a bit.

Madeline is quite the mommy and daddy's girl. She loves being held and telling stories. Even though she's only cooing, we make sure to give her our undivided attention and talk back, otherwise she gets offended.

She smiles all the time now and is even starting to laugh!

Madeline loves reading books and hearing songs. She smiles the biggest when I sing Popcorn Popping on the Apricot Tree and The Itsy Bitsy Spider.

Brett and I are trying to savor this time as much as we can. We can't believe how fast the last two months flew by and we're starting to realize that people were right when they said that she'd grow up in the blink of an eye.

I wish it were possible to stop blinking.

Blessing Day

2011-09-14T12:04:00.003-06:00

This past Sunday was a very special day. It was Madeline's blessing day. Brett blessed Madeline in the same ward building he was blessed in by his father and Madeline wore my blessing gown. Madeline's dad, uncles, and grandfathers gathered in a circle cradling her in their arms. Brett gave her a name and a lovely blessing as directed by the spirit. He did an incredible job and Madeline was perfectly content. During the blessing her eyes wandered around the circle of men and she smiled at each of them.

During the rest of the Sacrament meeting Brett and I sat together adoring our daughter and whispering to one another how much we loved each other and our sweet baby girl.

Afterwords, we invited family and friends to our home for a luncheon and visit. It was wonderful to see so many people who love Madeline gather together for her special day.

It was a perfect day.

Lazy Morning

2011-09-13T14:20:00.001-06:00

And that was the beginning of fairies...

2011-09-12T12:34:00.002-06:00

Late last night Brett and I were playing with Maddie before bed when we heard the beginnings of a chuckle. Maddie's been working on laughing for the last few weeks. I took out the camera to film her silly half laugh when she laughed for real.

Is there a happier sound in the world?

"When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies."

-J.M. Barrie

Madeline's Birth Story: Part III

2011-09-09T17:39:00.004-06:00

Click here to view Madeline's Birth Story: Part I

Click here to view Madeline's Birth Story: Part II

Madeline's Birth Story Part III: The Hospital

Day 5
(July 14th, 2011)

Brett and I drove hand in hand to Intermountain Medical Center. As we drove closer and closer to the hospital I could feel my dream birth slipping farther away from me. The drive was emotional, but as we pulled into the parking lot I reminded myself that the natural water birth at the birth center I had envisioned for nine months was not possible and that a hospital birth was my new reality. I decided I was going to embrace the reality.

Our birth assistant Adrianna followed us inside and started getting us signed in. Our midwife had called ahead so they were expecting us and already had my records and a room ready. However, my initial reaction to the hospital was not a good one.

"Where is this one going?" the woman at the front desk asked another woman behind her.

"Oh that one? I'm not sure." I realized that I was the "one" they were referring to and was surprised they didn't use my first name since it was in the paperwork she was holding in her hand.

"That one's going to room 116." I realize it may be odd to expect to be called by my first name, but while I was at the birth center I had a personal relationship with each woman in the group. I realize that a hospital cannot be that personal, but that moment was my first realization that a hospital experience really would be different than what I had planned.

She typed some more on her computer and started asking questions, "What is your due date?"

"July 1st."

The receptionist raised her eyebrow, pursed her lips and glanced at the other receptionist nearby. I was two weeks overdue. She didn't bother to hide her judgment. I tried to act like I hadn't noticed.

She made a copy of my insurance card and I signed a few papers.

"Alright, you are all set." She motioned to the woman behind her, "Will you show this one to her room?"

After I set down my things and got settled my nurse came in. After my bad experience with the receptionist I was worried about how I would be treated by the nurses and doctors. But as soon as the nurse came in I knew I was going to be treated well. Her name was Mindy. She was cheerful and sweet and made me feel comfortable. Although I am sure she had many other patients she treated me as if I were her only one. Mindy handed me a hospital gown and told me she'd be back soon.

As soon as the nurse left and I had changed into my hospital gown, Adrianna, my birth assistant, asked me if I had eaten anything. I shook my head.

"Do you have anything in your bag? You're going to want to eat something now because once they come in here they are going to cut you off."

Brett grabbed me a granola bar and fruit snacks. I quickly ate the fruit snacks and threw the granola bar into my mouth just as the nurse came back in. I turned the other way and chewed as fast as I could. I took a giant hard swallow just as my nurse got over to the bed.

Adrianna was right, as soon as she came in Mindy asked, "So when was the last time you ate something?"

"Pretty recently." I replied. Brett and I shared a sneaky glance and I held back a chuckle as I could see Brett was trying not to laugh.

"Okay, well we want you to only have clear fluids from now on."

She checked me to see my progress. I obviously didn't have my hopes up considering I hadn't progressed for well over sixteen hours. And I was right. Everything was the same.

She told me to get comfortable and that the midwife would be in shortly. I was so excited that I was transferred to the care of the midwives. I felt that the midwife and I would likely see eye to eye and I'd be able to still hold on to a lot of my birth plan.

Shortly after the nurse left she returned with a petite dark haired woman. She looked confident and relaxed and she wore a wide smile.

"Hello Haley, I'm Melissa your midwife. I understand you were planning to have a natural birth center birth. So what brings you here today?"

I told her about how I had been in labor for days without much progress. "We've exhausted all of our natural options. I've tried tinctures, herbs, acupressure, breast pumping, and I've had my membranes swept." I told her that after exhausting all the natural options my midwives transferred me to the hospital so that I could get Pitocin. I told her that my contractions were consistent and two to three minutes apart but that I still wasn't dilating. "I'm exhausted and I admit I'm a bit discouraged. We're here because we need help, and the hospital offers things that we just can't get at the birth center."

She listened intently and commented on my strength for working for so hard for so long. After I finished the story she sat down on the bed near my feet and spoke openly. "So I know that a hospital birth is not what you were planning or expecting. So it's likely that a lot of what we are going to be doing today wasn't in your original plan. However, we are going to do everything we can to still honor your birth plan and help you achieve your goals. Overall I would assume that having a successful vaginal birth is your top priority?"

"Yes."

"Okay. So here's what I propose. I completely agree with your midwives that the most important thing for you is rest. You are exhausted after days of labor and you still have a long way to go. I would hate for you to be in labor for days and end up with a c-section because you are too exhausted to push. That would be a waste after all your hard work. So I propose that we start you on Pitocin to help you dilate, obviously, that's what you came in for. And I would also like to start you on an epidural so that you can get the rest you need."

I started crying because I didn't want to get an epidural but at the same time I was so exhausted and I knew it was the right thing to do. My birth assistant made me feel a lot better about the possibility of an epidural. She told me that while I was strong enough to get through the contractions, sleep would help me to accomplish my most important goal of my birth plan, to have a vaginal birth.

At the hospital with my birth assistant Adrianna

They started the Pitocin through my IV and put me on the fetal monitors. They told me they would start me at four units of Pitocin and increase it every hour or so until I start responding to it.

"We never go over 20 units, and since you are already in labor four units should do it." My nurse told me.

Getting the epidural was easy and quick. My birth assistant and mom left to get me some ice chips and by the time they were back it was done. It felt a little weird but compared to the shot of morphine I had a few days earlier it felt like nothing. As soon as the epidural started to work I fell sound asleep.

..................

I woke up a few hours later panicked. I didn't remember coming to the hospital and I was scared when I couldn't feel my legs. Had I given birth? Where was my baby? I looked around the room for Brett but he wasn't there. My mom was there and she helped calm me down. Brett had just gone to get lunch from the cafeteria. She had to remind me why we were in the hospital, that I was on Pitocin and that I had an epidural which was why it was hard to move. Being reminded of what was going on made me mourn the loss of my natural birth again and then I reminded myself to stay positive.

My mom turned on the TV for me and put on my favorite classic movie, Roman Holiday. I don't remember watching much of it, but it was fun to have it on in the background. When Brett returned I felt much better.

Nurses continued to come in and check up on me. I wasn't allowed to have food, but I could have clear fluids. I sent Brett and my mom to get me chicken broth, jello, and flavored ice-cubes from the food station often. Even though I wasn't allowed to "eat" I definitely snacked a lot on what I was allowed to consume.

My brother came over during his lunch break and rubbed my feet. When he and his wife had their first baby it didn't go according to plan and Mike was able to say just the right things to make me feel better about our change in plans.

That afternoon my midwife came in to check me. It had been about six hours since I had been admitted and started the Pitocin. I was fully effaced, Madeline was at a +1 station still, but I was still only dilated to a three.

She suggested that we break my water to see if that would help move things along.

Artificial rupture of membranes was a big NO on my birth plan and I knew that the second I let them break my water I would be on a time crunch to have the baby. I vocalized this to my midwife and she understood, but also reminded me that I was already on a time crunch because of how long I had been in labor and that breaking my water may help things progress. She let me know that the OBs were keeping tabs on me and were worried I hadn't progressed even with the use of Pitocin. She said that by letting her break my water I would buy myself more time.

I bargained with her and bought myself even more time. I said no for now, and we decided that if in a few more hours I hadn't progressed we'd talk about it again.

She came in a couple hours later and there was still no progress. This time I let her break my water. I was concerned about cord prolapse, but Madeline's head was so low that it wasn't possible. Brett held my hand and we prepared for my water to break.

She took a small plastic hook and moved things around a bit.

"Okay, it's done." She said.

It seemed as if nothing had happened. Brett looked and saw there was a slight amount of fluid.

"That's it?" Brett said. "I was expecting something exciting like a huge gush."

"Well the good news is that it's clear!" The midwife said.

I was relieved that there was no concern about meconium. That was the best news I'd had in days.

That evening Brett and I played games. We played would you rather and the "year game". For the year game Brett would give me an age/year and I would tell him a story about me when I was that age. We had a blast visiting. We also visited with our moms. I noticed as we were talking that the nurses kept coming in and were talking about the amount of pitocin I was on.

"Are you sure it's okay to up it?"

"Yes we called the manufacturer and talked to Dr. Brown."

Apparently they were going over the usual twenty units.

As the day went on the nurses came in more frequently to check me. Each time the news was the same. 100% effaced, +1 station, dilated to a three. "Three" was once my favorite number, but it quickly became my least favorite as time went on. The best news we received was that our daughter was happy as could be and continued to have a great heart rate through the entire ordeal. It was a relief to know that she was safe and healthy.

I asked my nurse when I would know that I was making progress. She said that bleeding would be a good sign because that would mean I was dilating. She also said she wouldn't be surprised if once I did start dilating it went fast.

"A lot of women who have slow labors from a 1-4 actually transition very quickly."

I hoped that would be me.

Around eleven o' clock I started feeling nauseous and vomiting. I was also shivering. My nurse came in to make sure things were going well and noted that I was bleeding. "These are all good signs of progress" she said. I remembered what I had read in my birthing class about transition and this seemed like textbook. Am I transitioning already? I wondered. The shaking and vomiting continued for an hour. I'm going to have this baby tonight I thought to myself.

Day 6

My nurse said that the midwife would be in by midnight to check me, but there was a birth going on so it took longer than planned. I kept checking the clock and waiting eagerly for her to come. 12:15 came and went then 12:30. Based on my symptoms I had to be dilated to an eight by now. I was in pain. I could feel the contractions but didn't want to push the button to increase the epidural. I wanted to be able to feel as much as I could and to be able to move my legs so that I could feel as I was pushing. I couldn't wait to finally hear my midwife give me good news.

Finally around 12:45 she came in. I told her proudly that I had been vomiting, bleeding, and had the shakes.

"That's a great sign." She said while she put on her rubber gloves.

She went to check me.

As she was checking me I could see the look of disappointment on her face. She continued to check me much longer than before. I could sense she was trying to buy herself some time. Okay, so maybe I am still a three. I thought to myself. When she was finished checking me she took off her gloves and shook her head. I knew it was bad news.

"Fully effaced, +2 station."

I waited to hear how far I was dilated.

"You are now less than a two."

What? How was that possible! I thought to myself. My midwife was incredibly sensitive and came over to hold my hand. She looked like she was going to cry.

"We've hit a wall Haley. Your cervix is swollen and exhausted. It's been working for days and these strong Pitocin contractions have been hitting it hard. I told you earlier that we never go more than 20 units of Pitocin. Right now you are at 38 units. We've never had a mom on that much Pitocin."

She continued to tell me this was a flukey thing and that it wasn't my fault I wasn't dilating.

"We've done everything that we can and you've worked so hard. These things just happen sometimes."

She let me know she had to go out in the hall for a bit but that she'd be back soon.

She returned with a group of people and a woman who introduced herself as Dr. Melissa Brown.

"This is Dr. Brown. She will be performing your c-section today."

The midwife, doctors, and nurses kept talking to me and giving me sympathetic looks but I don't remember anything they said. My mind wandered as I tried to accept this new development.

I had done everything in my power to avoid a c-section. I chose a provider with a c-section rate below 5%. A far cry from the national average of 34%. I ate well, I stayed active during my pregnancy, and I worked hard to become educated about childbirth and my options. I didn't induce labor, I tried every natural method of encouraging my cervix to dilate, I used the necessary interventions when we realized the natural methods weren't working, and here I was being prepped for surgery.

It was even more difficult to realize that I didn't have a choice in the matter. Up to this point I was able to choose between different options. I chose to not induce labor when I was over a week late. I chose to try all the natural options to help my cervix progress and dilate. I chose to have Pitocin when those natural options didn't work. I chose to let them break my water when Pitocin wasn't quite doing to trick. Now I was out of options. There was no "or". Having a c-section was my newest reality.

Once the doctors and nurses left, my mom and mother in law stepped out so that Brett and I could have some time alone. Again, this is another one of those times I wish I had recorded exactly what Brett said to me. All I really remember is that Brett held my hand while I cried. My tears were both of sadness and relief. We had a wonderful moment together. We were sad, yes, yet were so happy and excited that after days of working to get her here we would finally meet our baby girl. Even though I was sad that I was having a c-section after planning a completely intervention free childbirth, I felt calm and accepted what was happening. I couldn't wait to meet my little girl and finally give her a name. We had a list of names we liked, but we didn't get attached to any of them. So we decided to wait to name her till we met her. Through the pregnancy we just referred to her as "baby girl".

The nurses came back in with the goofy looking "Daddy scrubs" for Brett to change into. My mom called my brother and my dad so that they could come and help Brett give me a Priesthood blessing before I went into surgery. They got there just after the anesthesiologist had come in to prep me for surgery.

Brett did a wonderful job giving me the blessing and I felt a wonderful calming spirit in the room. I felt so happy that my husband was a worthy priesthood holder and could give me a blessing of comfort and healing.

When the blessing was finished I said goodbye to my family and they wheeled me into the operating room. In one hand I held Brett's strong hand, in the other were my birth beads from The Birth Center. As we neared the operating room Brett could sense I was starting to get worried.

"Remember the words of the blessing Haley." I calmed down a bit as I remembered the words Brett had said.

As we got into the operating room I started to worry again. I imagined them cutting me open and seeing my insides. I started to feel sick.

Sensing my discomfort Brett said, "Think about your trigger word Haley."

While I was pregnant, Brett and I had practiced a bit of hypnotherapy. For this particular technique, you practice deep relaxation and pick a "trigger word". You focus your energy on that word and it helps to relax you. My word was "temple" because the temple is a place that I feel calm. But as I laid on the operating table, the only word that came to mind was "Madeline."

Madeline. I thought to myself.

I instantly felt calm.

Madeline.

The anesthesiologist did a few tests to check that I was numb. Once it was clear that the anesthesia was working he said, "Are you ready for them to make the first cut?"

"Yes."

"Good, because they already did it."

I laughed a bit because I hadn't felt a thing.

Then I started feeling tugging and pulling. It wasn't uncomfortable, but knowing what was going on made me feel a bit worried. It was strange to realize that beyond the blue cloth, surgeons and nurses were looking at my insides. Brett could see the worry on my face.

"Haley look at me."

I looked him in the eyes and I could tell he was smiling. I couldn't help but smile back.

"You'd doing such a great job. Just a few more minutes and we'll meet our little girl."

I felt so lucky to have Brett there with me. He knew just what to say and do to help me feel better.

"Okay you're going to feel a lot of pulling and tugging down."

Two nurses pushed hard on my ribs. I could feel a lot of movement and tugging. Then I heard it. A beautiful raspy cry like the bay of a lamb.

"Here she is!"

Relief and joy flew out of me in the form of tears and joyful sobs. Brett kissed me and squeezed my hand as if saying Great work honey!

She was finally here.

Brett went to see her as they wiped her off and weighed and measured her.

"She's beautiful!" was all he could say. And he said it over and over again.

One of the nurses gave us her stats.

"She's a big girl! 8 lbs 13 oz and 22 inches long. "

Brett took a picture of her and brought it over for me to see.

I wished they would hurry and bring the real thing over.

Finally they wrapped her up and brought her to me. I turned my head and met eyes with my beautiful daughter. Though I had envisioned having immediate skin to skin contact with my baby, this moment was still incredible. She was amazing. She looked so calm and happy. I kissed her over and over again and told her how much I loved her.

"So does this beautiful girl have a name?" The nurse asked us.

"Yes." I looked at her and then at Brett. "I think it's Madeline."

Brett smiled, "I think so too."

...........

Our visit couldn't last long. After a couple minutes Madeline had to go to the NICU. Just before the c-section I had a fever and when Madeline was born she had a fever as well. They were concerned about a possible infection because I had been in labor for so long, so they had to give Maddie an IV. Brett left with Madeline after asking me where he should be. Without question I wanted him with our baby girl. He kissed me again on the forehead before he left with the nurses to the NICU.

Laying on the operating table for another thirty minutes while they stitched me up was almost unbearable. If I'd had any ability to jump up and run down to the NICU I would have. I tried to distract myself as they stitched me up. I'm sure I annoyed the surgeons as I asked over and over again how much longer it would take. They were very polite and understanding and gave me updates as they stitched each layer of tissue they had cut through.

Finally they were finished. They wheeled me into the recovery room where I immediately prepared for my "skin to skin" contact with my baby girl. I took off my gown and waited for Maddie to come back from the NICU. I texted Brett over and over again and asked him if he could hurry. Though Brett couldn't control how long it was taking he was sweet and understanding. He texted me photos of her in the NICU and kept me updated on how much longer they would be.

After another half an hour or so the door opened and Brett came in with Maddie.

He unwrapped her from all the blankets they had bound her in and set her on my chest.

It was in this moment, holding my beautiful daughter in my arms with my husband at my side, that I knew it had all been worth it.

Madeline's Birth Story: Part II

2011-08-12T22:41:00.001-06:00

Click here to view Madeline's Birth Story: Part I

The Birthing Suite at The Birth Center

Day 4

It was best night's sleep I'd had in days, but it was an odd sleep. I was still very aware that I was having contractions, but the sensation was completely different. At times I would wake in the middle of the night feeling particularly strong contractions but I was able to fall back to sleep immediately. I also had the oddest dreams I've ever had in my life, though I don't remember any of them. I was in a strange sleep/wake/dream state through the entire evening, but at 6:30 am I woke feeling more rested than I had in days.

I forced myself to stay in bed until 8:30am. Though I couldn't fall back to sleep because the medication had worn off, I did my best to rest, relax, and attempt to ignore the contractions. After days of labor I was well aware of the fact that labor is a marathon and not a sprint and that I needed to save my energy if I was going to be successful with our birth plan. The medication had slowed my contractions down a bit to about 4-5 minutes apart, and I was grateful for the extra rest time between contractions.

We ate breakfast and sometime after 10:00am we drove back to the birth center. I was eager to be checked and was sure that ten hours after being checked the last time that I must have dilated. But on the drive over I tried to prepare myself for the possibility that I hadn't dilated more.

I said to Brett, "If I'm still a two let's not be discouraged, deal?"

Brett smiled and said, "Deal."

My midwife checked my vitals and hooked me up to the fetal monitors for a few minutes to make sure our little girl was handling the contractions well. She was doing great.

"Okay, let's see how far you've progressed."

She checked me.

I was still a two. After days of labor I was only a two.

I tried to smile and be optimistic. My midwife could sense my frustration.

"Well we're going to start you on our natural induction plan today. It's great because you are already having good contractions, it seems we just need to strengthen them so you will dilate. We'll start by giving you a stronger dose of the homeopathics you have already been taking. Then we'll have you drink a blue and black cohosh tincture and use a breast pump. Both of these will help to strengthen contractions. Midwives have used these natural methods for centuries and we've had a lot of success here at our practice."

I was feeling a bit better. "Great, let's get started!"

She gave me my first round of homeopathics. After I finished taking them she asked me, "Have you eaten today?"

"Breakfast this morning."

"Well it's about noon now. Why don't you head out and get some lunch. There is a great Mediterranean restaurant nearby. Get something packed with protein while you are still in the mood to eat."

Lunch was incredibly delicious. We took our time and split two entrees. I was still in a strange labor land state and kept asking Brett if he felt numb or weird like I was feeling. I don't know why I thought he might feel the same way, but I kept asking him anyway. The restaurant was pretty empty and we were able to find a cozy quiet corner where I could get in touch with my inner-Buddhist monk/ mother bear and not frighten other people trying to eat in peace.

When we got back to the birth center we started the blue and black cohosh. It tasted about as delicious as an old sock, but I didn't mind too much. I liked taking it during contractions to give me something to think about. The contraction took my mind off the gross taste and the gross taste took my mind off the contraction. I labored on the birth ball leaning against the bed between doses. I also liked standing and swaying during the contractions. I felt like I got the most out of a contraction that way and I hoped that using gravity would help open my cervix.

We brought a mini-DVD player with us and a few movies. Brett put on two of them. I only remember the first two minutes of 17 Again. Apparently we also watched Letters to Juliet, but I don't remember one bit of that. The contractions were growing a lot stronger and it was hard to focus on much of anything besides just getting through each contraction and preparing my body for the next.

Labor is a strange thing. I felt completely aware and focused on my body while also feeling as if I wasn't connected to my body. Time seemed to pass faster than sound at times, while the five-ten seconds at the peak of a contraction could feel like days.

After a couple hours we started using the breast pump. The stimulation causes a natural release of oxytocin (the human body's natural Pitocin). Wow! I was shocked at how intense my contractions got once I started pumping.

Sometime that afternoon my midwife checked me. I held my breath praying for good news.

"You are a three!"

I admit, I hoped that I was dilated to a four or five by now, but mostly I was so relieved that I was finally dilating.

We continued the doses of the tincture and using the breast pump. My contractions were strong and regular. After I finished eight doses of the tincture, our midwife suggested that we go continue to labor at home where we could be more comfortable and eat some food. She told us she would stay at the birth center because she planned on us coming back that evening to have the baby. We left our bags and just took a few laboring basics back home with us.

We went home and ate something, and again this whole part is completely hazy because I was so exhausted and so focused on laboring. I spent so much time laboring at home and the days seem to blend together. I know I showered a few times while I was home (the shower was another great coping method). We ate, though I don't remember what, and the only thing I really remember about this part of the labor was that Brett was always right there within arms reach to help me through each contraction.

We tried to go to bed at eleven but I mostly just laid there trying to work through the contractions. I got up and took another two or three showers. The contractions continued to get more and more intense and sometime after midnight I told Brett I was ready to go back in to the birth center.

I was so exhausted from all the laboring that I was starting to hallucinate. I was in a dreamlike state at all times. Brett told me afterwords that while driving over I was speaking gibberish and saying random words out of nowhere during and between contractions. He said it was like I was talking in my sleep.

When we got to the birth center my midwife made sure we were comfortable and I labored for a bit before she checked me again.

"You are doing so great Haley. This is a fantastic pattern. You may just have this baby tonight. Let's check to see how close you are."

She checked me.

I was still a three.

"Don't get discouraged Haley. For a lot of first time moms the first four centimeters are the hardest to get to and from there on it goes fast. But we are back to the predicament we were in last night. You are exhausted and we want you to rest so you have the energy you need for later in labor. So I am going to fill up the birthing tub. Usually we don't put women into the birthing tub till they have progressed a bit further, but the water will help you relax so you can rest between the contractions."

She filled the tub with hot water and turned on the jets. I climbed in and immediately felt relief. It was amazing to be in the water. I definitely understood why they call the birthing tub the "birth center epidural". Brett pulled over a chair and held my hand through the night. As the contractions began to get stronger and stronger I turned to my side and put my ear under water to focus on the sounds of the jets. There were jets on either side of my body, so when I turned one jet pushed against my stomach and the other pushed against my back. It eased the pain tremendously and I was able to get into a good rhythm of resting and working through contractions in the tub. My birth assistant Adrianna came in around 2:00am and gave me additional verbal and physical support through the contractions.

Around 3:30 I got out of the tub and Brett and I tried to rest in the bed. During the contractions Brett would push on my back with a heating pad and offer words of encouragement. My birth assistant told me afterwords that I would work through the contractions and then snore loudly till the next one came on. My contractions were 2-3 minutes apart so that gave me 1-2 minutes of rest between each one. I was so relaxed (and exhausted) that I could fall asleep for those short periods of time.

The midwife and birth assistant took turns checking my vitals through the night and used a doppler to check on Madeline. It was so nice to not be hooked up to anything and to move freely while at the birth center. The midwife could check on the baby no matter what laboring position I was in and since it was waterproof they could check me in the tub as well.

At 6:00am my midwife came in to check how far I had progressed. It had been over five hours since they had checked me last and I remember repeating the word "open" in my head over and over and over.

I waited to hear the news.

"You are about 95% effaced now. +1 station, so this baby is really eager to get out."

She hesitated. "And you are still dilated to a three."

My heart sank. I had worked all through the night without progress. As a matter of fact I had labored for well over 16 hours without progress. I tried not to cry which became harder and harder the more she talked.

"Here are our options. Again, we are concerned about you being so exhausted. You labored very well through the night but without good sleep. Your body is working very hard to have this baby and it has for days. When labor is long and slow like this your body needs rest, which is hard to get because your contractions are so intense and close together. So our first option is that we can give you another injection like we did two nights ago. You can rest at home for a while and then come back and we'll go for another round of the homeopathics and pumping like we did yesterday.

"The downside is that tomorrow is your 42 week mark when we would transfer your care to the hospital, and there is no guarantee this baby will come today. Also, if the cohosh and pumping didn't work the first time it's likely that it won't work the second time."

"What's our other option?" I asked, although I already knew the answer.

"The other option is to transfer your care to the hospital. Our natural labor stimulators are only so strong. You need something stronger, Pitocin, to help encourage this labor along and if you choose, possibly an epidural so that you can rest."

I started crying the moment I heard the word "transfer". I had become so attached to the idea of a natural water birth that it was incredibly hard to let go of that dream. Brett held me close, my midwife grabbed my hand.

"Haley, I know that this isn't what you had in mind for your labor and delivery. You have been so strong and worked so hard, but you just need a bit of help that we cannot offer here at the birth center. In your situation the safest option is for you to go to the hospital."

"We'll step out of the room and let you two talk about it."

As soon as they closed the door behind them I started sobbing. Brett held me while I cried.

"I tried so hard," I wept, "I feel like such a failure."

I wish I could remember word for word every wonderful thing Brett said to me over the course of my labor. This moment is one of the top moments I wish I had recorded what Brett said to me. All I can say is that I was in a state of pure anguish and defeat, and Brett said just the right thing to make me feel as if I were the strongest most spectacular woman in the world. Though this was one of the hardest parts of the entire labor, this was also one that I look back with fondness. I wanted a natural birth because I felt it was an experience that would bring Brett and me closer together. This moment that we shared together brought us closer than I ever could have imagined.

We already knew that we needed to go to the hospital, but we still talked about it together. Again, we agreed that we completely trusted our midwife and that if she thought that we needed to go to the hospital and use Pitocin that that was what we would do. Though our goal was to have a completely intervention free birth, we were also very open minded and understood that certain interventions are useful and necessary in birth. That doesn't mean it wasn't hard to let go of our birth center birth. I wish I could express how difficult this decision was for us. It wasn't difficult to make the decision to go to the hospital, but it was very difficult to let go of our dream birth, especially after days of laboring.

My midwife called ahead to the hospital and got everything set up for us. She also told us that our birth assistant would accompany us to the hospital and help us get settled. Brett packed up our bags and loaded our car.

I hugged my midwife.

"You are one of the strongest women I know." She whispered to me.

I started crying again but I was able to thank her for all of her help.

And just like that we said goodbye to The Birth Center and were on our way to the hospital.


Adrianna (Birth Assitant), Madeline & Me, and Becky (Midwife)

Coming Soon

Madeline's Birth Story: Part III

The Hospital

Madeline's Birth Story: Part I

2011-07-31T15:20:00.006-06:00

Day 1

I woke up at 3:00 am on Sunday, July 10th with contractions every 8-10 minutes apart. I tried not to get too excited because the day before we had been faked out by the baby. That day I had contractions for over twelve hours that got down to about six minutes apart, but they eventually fizzled out as the day grew hotter.

But this time, the contractions stayed all day long.

By 5:30pm the contractions were 6 minutes apart.

By 8:30pm they were 5 minutes apart.

At 1:00am they were 3-4 minutes apart, lasting 60-75 seconds and very strong. At 1:30am I had Brett call my midwife to let her know how I was progressing. She got me on the phone and talked with me through some contractions. After a brief chat, she said we should come in to the birth center within the next hour to two.

At 3:00am we went to our birth place to check things out. My midwife checked my vitals, checked the cervix, checked the baby's heart rate. Everything looked beautiful. Baby was low, 0 station. My cervix was 80% effaced. But I was only dilated to a 1 1/2. My midwife was very positive and supportive and reminded me that everything my body had been doing the last few days hadn't been for nothing. She reminded us that early labor can last a long time and not to get discouraged.

"Do you think you can go home and sleep? Getting some rest will be the best thing for you right now so you have the energy you need during active labor."

I said yes, but I wasn't sure I could.

I got home, showered, drank some chamomile tea, got into a few labor positions that help slow things down, showered (again), and prayed... a lot. Finally the contractions spaced out enough that I could rest well between and during them. I ended up sleeping on a lazy boy with a heating pad on my back. That was the only way I could get the contractions mild enough to sleep through.

Day 2

The next morning I decided not to time the contractions and to just try to rest. Brett headed off to teach at 7:00am, after only getting about two hours of sleep. I was able to sleep well for about four hours, before the contractions were back to being too strong to sleep through.

When Brett got home that afternoon I ordered Pizza Hut pizza and we ate in bed. The entire day just turned into a lazy day and I really don't remember much of it because I was just working through contractions. Besides taking a short walk we mostly hung around the house. I showered about a dozen times, lounged around in my bathrobe, watched movies on Netflix (honestly don't remember any of them), ate snacks, and worked through the contractions.

My midwife told me to call her when there was a "significant change" in the strength of the contractions. Though I stayed in a pattern of having contractions every 4-5 minutes, there wasn't a "significant change". The night before she had told us about "labor land". She said that Brett would know it was time to go in again when I was in labor land.

"Labor land is a place that only Haley has the passport to. Even when she isn't having a contraction she will be there. She will be there in front of you, but she won't really be there. When she's in labor land come back in."

I tried my best to sleep though my contractions but didn't have much success. I was able to "sleep" between contractions, I'd wake up and work though the contraction, and then fall asleep again. Brett and my Mom took turns supporting me though the night.

Day 3

On Tuesday we had our 42 week appointment with my midwife. Our 42 week mark was coming in a few days so we were now getting down to crunch time.

We did another non-stress test for the baby and checked out the fluid levels via ultrasound. It was nice that I was having contractions because we could see how our baby was responding to them. She was a champ. Becky said our baby girl was safe and sound, but that we needed to start some more intense methods of encouraging her along. We planned to go in the next day at 9:00am to start our "eviction plan" using natural methods.

Before I left she checked me again. This time I was 90% effaced, 0 station, and I was still at 1 1/2. I was relieved that I had effaced more, but I was a bit discouraged that after two days of consistent contractions I hadn't dilated. My midwife, Becky, suggested that we sweep my membranes to help strengthen the contractions a bit. After a discussion about the risks we agreed.

Becky said she'd see us in the morning, if not sooner.

I really hoped it would be sooner.

After the appointment Brett took me to The Olive Garden for a late lunch. As the bowl of salad and basket of bread sticks were emptied, my contractions grew stronger and stronger.

We dropped by the grocery store to pick up some more labor snacks. As Brett and I walked through the store I had to pause every few minutes to work through my contractions.

After days of labor I had developed a few coping methods. One was that I would hold a long continuous low moaning note as I would exhale. It was almost Buddhist monk esque. It came naturally and helped me cope. I remembered what my birth instructor had taught me, to keep all noises low and "mother bear" like rather than high sounds that tend to make one tense. I worked to ride the waves of the contraction, curious of the pain, while also having an almost out of body experience until it was over. I also tried to look at the labor as a really intense workout. Like a workout, labor has moments of rest and recuperation. I looked at labor as a sprint workout, on for 60 seconds, rest for three minutes, on for 60 seconds, rest for two minutes. Brett was my best coping tool. Just having him to lean against or to touch my shoulder or hips helped ease the pain tremendously. There is something so comforting about having the person you love there by your side as you are going through something so taxing.

As we walked though the grocery store we paused at the bakery, we paused in the meat section, we paused by the watermelons. I was very aware of the people around us until the contractions started, and then I didn't care.

Brett told me afterwords that while in the meat section there was a man standing behind us trying to get a look at the ground beef. Instead of walking away as my contraction started he stood there awkwardly waiting for us to move. I had no idea he was even there, but Brett was pretty embarrassed when I leaned against him and started my "mother bear" / "Buddhist monk" moaning.

The contractions were definitely getting stronger.

When we got home we dimmed the lights, turned on my labor mix, and got all our labor tools together (tennis balls, massage oil, candles, birth ball, etc.) I took a few hot showers, lounged around in my robe, and Brett helped me work through my contractions using the laboring positions we learned in our Brio class. My Mom was also there. She timed the contractions and brought us water and snacks as we needed them. She went out and picked up some delicious food from The Soup Kitchen. If Brett needed a quick break, she'd step in and rub my back or offer me water. She was a wonderful and perfect support.

By midnight my contractions were incredibly strong and I was getting into that "labor land" state. I honestly don't remember much about this night, other than by around 1:00am we ended up back at the birth center. My contractions were 2-3 minutes apart and lasting over 70 seconds. When we got to The Birth Center, Becky checked my vitals and was confident that when she checked me I'd be at least a four by now.

She checked me and we were all shocked. I was only dilated to a two.

Becky told us we had a couple options.

"First, you could stay at here at The Birth Center and labor through the night and the day tomorrow. You are in a great pattern here, you are definitely in labor. The downside to staying here is that you have been in labor for three days now and you haven't had a good night's rest in that time. That is a recipe for disaster. What we don't want is for you to be exhausted when it comes time to push."

"What's our other option?" Brett asked.

"I can give you morphine and a strong muscle relaxant to help you sleep tonight. We do this often for moms who need to sleep. Then you'll come back in the morning and we'll have this baby. You'll be able to sleep through the contractions tonight, but they will still be there, they'll just feel more mild. So you could go home and get 5-7 hours of sleep and when you come back in tomorrow morning you may even be dilated to a five."

Sleep sounded like a good plan to me. We talked through the pros and cons together. Becky stepped out of the room and Brett and I discussed our options. I was a bit hesitant to take any medication. I had never had any sort of sleeping med or pain med beyond an Ibuprofen. Brett reminded me that we had spent a lot of time picking the perfect care provider who we trusted completely who was very pro natural methods. We knew that if she recommended any sort of medication is was necessary.

"If she thinks sleep is what you need most right now I think that we should listen to her." Brett said.

I completely agreed.

We gave Becky the go ahead. She readied the injection and explained to me what it would feel like.

"Now when I give this to you, it's going to start out feeling like a bee sting. Then it's going to feel like I'm giving you the worst blister you've ever had in your life. Then as the medication is getting into your system you'll feel a burning sensation."

I prepared myself, and she was exactly right. It was the oddest and most painful shot I'd ever had. When she finished I was told to lay there for a few minutes. The burning started at the injection site and then slowly spread through my body till my limbs felt warm and heavy. I don't remember exactly what I said, but sometime as the medication was spreading through my body I said something to the effect of, "Far out... so this is what using drugs must feel like."

"Now you two have about twenty minutes before it takes full effect. Do you have stairs at your house?"

"We live in a basement."

"Okay, Brett you will need to help her down the stairs. She's going to have a hard time staying balanced and she may be a bit out of it when you get home."

We got home, I don't remember the stairs but I am sure Brett had to half carry me down them because I remember my legs felt like lead.

I lay down and almost fell asleep instantly, but not before I made an observation.

"Brett, tonight's the last night we'll just be us."

He smiled and gave me a kiss, and we both dreamed of holding our baby the next day.

Little did we know we were only halfway there...

Coming Soon

Madeline's Birth Story: Part II

The Birth Center

Preface: Madeline's Birth Story

2011-07-24T13:58:00.000-06:00

Just like my pregnancy was extra long, Madeline's labor and birth followed suit. It's going to take me a while to write the whole story, not just because I am still trying to process all six days of it, but because I have a precious newborn who is a lot more fun to be with than at the computer. So I'll write this story and post it in parts over the next few days between breastfeeding and nap sessions.

I'd like to preface this series of blog posts by saying that while my birth didn't go as planned, it was still an incredible experience that has left me feeling powerful beyond measure.

Early on in the pregnancy, I decided I wanted to have a natural birth. The more research I did, the more Brett and I felt that it was the safest and best option for both me and the baby. I felt that it was a life changing and empowering experience that I wanted to have. I saw amazing videos of several peaceful water births and was incredibly intrigued. It was amazing to see birth in a such a peaceful light.

Here in Utah, water births are not offered in hospitals. So at 30 weeks of pregnancy I transferred to a birth center that offered water birth as an option. I was so intrigued by the amazing midwives and support that The Birth Center had. I was also impressed by their < 5% cesarean section rate for their patients (considering the cesarean section rate in the United States is currently at a whopping 34%). We love everything about The Birth Center. It's the kind of place that you walk in and everyone knows you personally. They only accept up to ten patients per month of due date, so it is a very intimate group. The midwives are incredible, their views of pregnancy and birth were spot on with us, and there was a great sense of community there between all the moms.

Brett and I took an eight week long Brio Birth class where we learned all about birth, labor, and newborn care. We learned about laboring positions, the pros and cons of medical interventions, relaxation techniques, breathing techniques, breastfeeding, nutrition, and planting your placenta in your yard. (Yes, Brett and I are quite a bit more granola than you'd expect.) We loved our small class of three couples and our incredible birth instructor Alyssa Bray.

We planned to have a completely intervention free water birth. No induction, no IV, no Pitocin, no epidural, no "purple pushing", no artificial rupturing of membranes (breaking the water), no episiotomy, no unnecessary ultrasounds, no continuous fetal monitoring, and no cesearean section.

We planned to welcome our baby girl in a calm and intimate environment, with dim lights, hushed voices, and a small group of care providers. We planned to have immediate skin to skin contact, delayed cord clamping, and either Brett or I would catch the baby.

The birth ended up being completely different than planned and I ended up with almost everything I didn't want. However, the medical interventions we chose to use were necessary to bring our little girl into this world. Though I am still mourning the loss of the natural water birth I had planned to have, I am so grateful for the medical technology that made it possible for me to have my baby.

Through this story, you will see that I had a unique opporunity to experience almost every different kind of labor/birth. My midwife jokes that I labored enough at home to have four babies, enough at the birth center to have three, and enough in the hospital to have two.

That's a lot of babies.

Coming Soon:

Madeline's Birth Story: Part I

Day Ten Overdue: Pizza in Bed

2011-07-11T18:16:00.002-06:00

Today my priority was to rest and relax (since baby has been faking a break out for the last three nights leaving Brett and me with little to no sleep).

The greatest thing I accomplished today was eating pizza in bed without spilling ranch dressing on the duvet.

Congratulations to me.

Day Nine Overdue: The Fake Out Continues...

2011-07-11T11:05:00.004-06:00

I woke up at 3:00 am on Sunday with contractions every 8-10 minutes apart.

This time they stayed all day long.

By 5:30pm they were 6 minutes apart.

By 8:30pm they were 5 minutes apart.

At 1:00am they were 3-4 minutes apart, lasting 60-75 seconds and very strong.

At 3:00am this morning we went to our birth place to check things out. My midwife checked my vitals, checked the cervix, checked the baby's heart rate. Everything looked beautiful. Baby is low, 0 station. Cervix is 80% effaced. But I wasn't dilated far enough. My midwife was very positive and supportive and reminded me that everything my body has been doing the last few days hasn't been for nothing.

"Do you think you can go home and sleep? Getting some rest will be the best thing for you right now so you have the energy you need during active labor."

I said yes, but I wasn't sure I could.

I got home, showered, drank some chamomile tea, got into a few labor positions that help slow things down, showered (again), and prayed... a lot. Finally the contractions spaced out enough that I could rest well between and during them.

So sleep and deep relaxation is on my to do list for today. I would like to add having a baby to that list but, as I am reminded daily, that's truly for her to decide.

Day Eight Overdue: Birthday Baby Fake Out

2011-07-10T12:42:00.001-06:00

On the evening of July 8th, Brett and I went to hang out with a couple of our friends. We watched the new movie How Do You Know? and ate ice-cream crepes. Through the evening I had some good strong contractions that were about 20 minutes apart. For the most part I just tried to ignore them and not get too excited. We got home late and went straight to bed. By 3:00 am I couldn't sleep through them and I started timing them. They were between 8-10 minutes apart lasting about 45 seconds each. At about 5 am I lost my mucus plug (I wish there were a more delicate way to say it. The term 'mucus plug' is definitely one of the most disgusting terms in the English language). Anyway, I was really excited because that meant I was dilating. The contractions started getting more intense as the evening went on. When my contractions started getting closer together (6-8 minutes) I reached over and whispered to Brett excitedly, "I think we're going to have this baby today!" I couldn't think of anything I wanted more for my birthday than to have the baby.

The contractions kept on coming like clock work but I forced myself to stay in bed till 8:30am and not get my hopes up too much. I called my Mom to tell her what was going on but to keep things hush hush in case things didn't continue to progress. I got up, showered, went over to my sister-in-law's house so she could give me "labor hair" (gorgeous french braids gathered and pinned to my head in an elegant mess). My mother-in-law made us breakfast. My mom dropped by a birthday cake and Jamba Juice for Brett and me.

At around 10:30 am, twelve hours after they had started, the contractions stalled. I still felt little pangs through the day, but nothing regular that I even felt the need to time. I went for a walk, bounced around on my birthing ball, took my homeopathics. Nothing.

Brett jokes that we got "Jimmered by the baby." It's true, it was the ultimate fake out. By the evening I realized it was my birthday and I didn't have anything planned because I was planning to be in labor. We went over to my mom's house to decide what to do. My mom and Brett suggested all sorts of activities: a drive-in movie, chocolate fondue, going to the park, swimming, a barbecue, an outdoor concert. Each suggestion fell flat. Nothing sounded fun.

This is when I told Brett, while smiling, "Do you think I can just cry? I think I just need to cry."

He smiled and said, "I think that would be good. Do you want me to hold you?"

"Yes." I curled up with Brett on the couch and just like that the tears came.

"I woke up this morning thinking I was going to have a baby. How can I plan any activity for my birthday that can remotely compare to that?"

He agreed. So I cried for a good five minutes.

Finally, my Mom said, "It's true, nothing will compare. But lets just go and do something."

So we went and got frozen yogurt at Top It.

Just as we were scraping the bottom of our cups from Top It, my brother called and invited us to go get a dole whip (whipped pineapple frozen yogurt) from Farr's. We figured we may as well go for round two.

I ended up having a really enjoyable evening visiting with my family. After our double course of dessert we decided it would be a good idea to eat dinner. We ate at Outback Steakhouse and told stories and laughed. And at the end of the night they brought me a birthday dessert.

Three rounds of dessert can't make up for not having a baby. But it certainly didn't hurt.

Day Seven: Natural Labor Stimulation Massage

2011-07-08T16:49:00.004-06:00

Today I went to Salt Lake Prenatal Massage for a natural labor stimulation massage (thanks Brett for the early birthday gift!) It was incredible and absolutely worth it. I was lucky to have the owner, Rebecca Overson, as my massage therapist. Rebecca spent a lot of time working pressure points and relieving the tension in my body. She used an amazing blend of aromatherapy oils that she created herself.

I loved being able to relax and focus on my body and baby during the massage. Oh and being able to lay on my stomach was pure bliss!

Rebecca was a joy to visit with because we have very similar views on pregnancy and childbirth. Besides being a LMT she is also a trained birth doula. She knew exactly how to make a pregnant girl feel supported, empowered, and beautiful.

Rebecca went two weeks overdue with her first baby, so she could definitely empathize with me and also encourage me. Like me, Rebecca didn't want to be induced and wanted to let the baby come on his own. It was so refreshing that when I walked in the door and she asked how far along I was that she didn't say "Oh you poor thing!" Instead she said, "That's normal!"

After the massage my Mom took me out to lunch at The Other Place (yes that is actually the name of the restaurant). They serve amazing Greek food and they have a wicked breakfast menu to boot. We split the special Greek salad and their famous rice pudding. The rice pudding is literally what I would consider heaven in a cup.

It was fun to visit with my Mom and chat about the fact that 24 years ago today, she went into labor with me. It's crazy how being pregnant with my own daughter makes me feel connected to my mother in a completely new way.

Day Six: Homeopathics and Herbs

2011-07-07T17:30:00.003-06:00

Today was my 41 week appointment. Becky, my midwife, checked my cervix, did a stress test on the baby, and an ultrasound to check the amniotic fluid volume. We found out that her head is about as engaged as it can get (I give the credit to my dance moves). She was incredibly low, so low in fact my midwife was surprised I hadn't gone into labor yet. I spent a good amount of time kicked back in a lazy boy sipping apple juice and listening to my daughter's heartbeat dance from 118 to 150 when she moved or when I had a contraction. Baby passed the stress test with flying colors. The ultrasound showed that baby has plenty of fluid in there, so my placenta is still doing its job and there is no rush to induce.

During the cervical exam Becky found that part of the reason I'm not in labor yet is because my cervix is posterior at the moment. No need to stress out about it, but she did give me a few exercises that should help swing it forward so our baby's head can help dilate the cervix.

Becky also gave me a five day homeopathic regimen to follow to help encourage baby along. We went to Dave's Health and Nutrition to pick up the herbs and homeopathic medicines. Brett and I loved being greeted at the door with the scent of essential oils and herbs. I love places like this. Becky has a plan that she swears by, so hopefully it works for us. Each day I'll take different homeopathic pellets varying from caulophyllum to cimicifuga to pulsatilla. I'm also taking evening primrose oil daily. Becky is an incredible CNM. I interviewed a lot of midwifes who were either too new age or too intervention happy. Becky is the perfect balance. She isn't anti-medicine, but she doesn't turn to medicine/interventions as her first/only option.

My next appointment is on Tuesday. Becky said that if I haven't delivered by then we'll start talking about an "eviction plan" (love her word choice!) if I get to 42 weeks without any action.

In Becky's words "We hope she'll move out on her own, but if not we'll make her."

Day Five: Postive Birth Affirmations, Birth Stories, and Favorite Songs

2011-07-06T09:43:00.000-06:00

I decided to use today to prepare a bit more for the birth. I woke up early and went for another nice long walk through my new neighborhood. I spent some time in the silence of the morning going through all the positive thoughts about how I want the birth to go. I also spent a bit of time thinking through the less desirable birth scenarios that may arise and took some time to think through those scenarios and face those fears and uncertainties instead of ignoring them. I had a little mental conversation with the baby and I told her all my desires for her. I told her about my hopes for the birth, for her health, for her future.

When I got home I browsed a few websites with wonderful positive birth stories and read about a dozen or so. The stories are beautiful and empowering, leaving me feeling positive and excited for the birth.

Then I went through my "birth mixes" (my iTunes playlists dedicated to the birth) and added a few songs. I have three different birth playlists: Baby Day Calming Music, Baby Day Relaxing Music, and Baby Day Upbeat Music. (Yes, calming and relaxing are two different mixes).

I've had a lot of fun over the last few months creating my playlists for the big day. I loved showing it off to my birth instructor when she came over for our labor rehearsal a few weeks ago. Between the three different playlists I selected around 100 songs.

Here are a few of my favorites:

A la Claire Fontaine - Les Petits Minous
Lo How a Rose E're Blooming - Jon Schmidt
Lullaby - Dixie Chicks
Godspeed (Sweet Dreams) - Dixie Chicks
Northern Sky - Nick Drake
Blue in Green - Miles Davis
Peace - Felicia Wolfe
Dream - Priscilla Ahn

This morning I added one last song to all three mixes because it is just that lovely. I first found this YouTube video last summer. This woman's name is Temple. This video is of her singing just before the home birth of her 10 lb son Koa. She sang through her contractions to comfort her during labor. I stumbled onto it again today and I'm so glad that I did. It is beautiful.

Click Here to Download Temple's Song from iTunes

Day Four Overdue: Walking, Grilling, Relaxing, and Lightning

2011-07-05T23:18:00.001-06:00

This morning I woke up at 6:40 and went for a 45 minute walk around the neighborhood.

After Brett got home from teaching we went to the ZOO and enjoyed looking at all the exhibits. Did you know an elephant weighs around 250 lbs at birth? Boy am I relieved my baby won't that big, no matter how late she is.

This evening Brett and I grilled steaks and I relaxed in a hot tub at pool temperature (87 degrees) for about an hour.

My best friend Chelsey called me this evening ask if I was in labor yet (I've been getting a lot of those calls lately). She had reason to suspect, however. There is quite the summer storm tonight and apparently lightning storms are known to induce labor (her sister-in-law is in labor at this moment). Maybe Mother Nature is planning to help me out. If not, I'll be posting again tomorrow.

In other news, who do you think this baby is going to look like?

HIM

HER

Day Three Overdue: Birthday Party

2011-07-04T22:44:00.004-06:00

Last night around midnight we decided to bake the baby a birthday cake and invite her to her birthday party. Sadly she was a no show. Oh well, the cake was delicious.

The acupressure from yesterday really did help get things going a bit, I had some good strong contractions but they fizzled through the night. At least I know I'm making some progress!

Brett and I have also been taking long evening walks. To help move things along I walk/ gallop with one foot on the road and one foot on the curb like the lady below... Yeah, I know. It's the hottest thing ever.

Day Two Overdue: Acupressure Points

2011-07-03T19:57:00.002-06:00

My friend who is due today suggested that I try stimulating some acupressure points. It's worth a shot! So Brett and I will be trying that tonight. My feet are so swollen, I hope we can still find the right spots.

Keep the suggestions coming!

I'm really excited to have this baby, but I'm not miserable or feeling discouraged yet. My midwife gave me great advice back when I was 36 weeks pregnant. She said to take out my calendar and schedule something each day from then to two weeks past my due date. That way if I wake up in the morning and I'm not in labor I can say to myself, "Well, I may not be having a baby today but... I get to go swimming" or "Brett and I are going to have a picnic." It's been fun to schedule something fun for each day and these next two weeks I've scheduled the best for last. The calendar idea is one of the best bits of pregnancy advice I've received. It's really helped me stay positive.

Today, my calendar event was to go swimming.

Day One Overdue: Dancing This Baby Out

2011-07-02T11:00:00.005-06:00

So as of today I am "overdue". This isn't shocking to me considering that the average first-time mom delivers eight days past her due date. Because of this, I've purposely been counting down to two weeks beyond my due date. Still, that doesn't mean that when July 1st came and went without a baby I wasn't a little bummed.

A lot of family members and friends have been suggesting tricks to help encourage baby along. So for fun, I'm going to post daily videos / photos of me doing things each day that she is "late".

Today, I'm dancing this baby out. Tomorrow? Who knows!

Post in the comments section with suggestions for how to coax this little girl along and I just may do it tomorrow.

Splitscreen: A Love Story

2011-06-30T13:20:00.000-06:00

I saw this on the Yahoo! homepage this morning and had to share. The entire film was done using a Nokia N8 cell phone camera.

Pregnancy Update Week 39

2011-06-29T08:15:00.001-06:00

The Bump:

Maternity Clothes:

My favorite maternity outfits at the moment are my flowy spring dresses, my leggings with a large oversized shirt, and my bathing suit.

Best Moment This Week:

My cousin Brooke got married to her amazing love Parker. Their wedding was gorgeous. Everything about it was perfect. Brooke made a gorgeous bride and the love that she and Parker share is a love to admire. I was so happy that the baby hadn't arrived yet so that I could celebrate this wonderful day with them.

Movement:

I thought that since our baby girl is super cramped and completely out of space that the movement would slow down a bit, but that's not the case. She still moves around all day. It's crazy to see from the outside each stretch and roll.

Food Cravings:

Lots of water

Smoothies

Popcicles

Orange Juice

Frozen Yogurt

Watermelon

What I Miss:

I'm actually starting to miss being pregnant (is that super weird?) I'm trying to savor every bump and tap and I love checking out my nearly 40 week pregnant belly in the mirror.

I'll tell you what though, sleeping on my belly post-pregnancy is going to be complete heaven.

Sleep:

I have been sleeping very well lately. I still have some issues with heartburn but I've been dealing with it so long it doesn't bug me too much anymore.

What I Am Looking Forward To:

I'm looking forward to holding my baby girl!

The other night I was talking to my brother about what it feels like waiting for labor. I used a track analogy because, well I'm me. I feel like I'm sitting in the starting blocks waiting for a race to start that has no official start time. It could start in two minutes or it could start in two weeks.

For anyone out there who has ever done track, those moments leading up to the start of the race are the most intense. The second the official says "Runners to your marks" your heart starts fluttering. My nose would sometimes go numb. However, that moment usually only lasts seconds before the official says "Set!" and you're off. So you can imagine the tension of waiting in the blocks for weeks not knowing when the official is going to say "Set!" and finally shoot that gun.

Symptoms:

Over the last couple weeks I've had swelling in my legs, feet, and hands. The swelling in my hands has caused me to have pregnancy induced carpel tunnel syndrome. When I wake up first thing in the morning I feel like an old arthritic woman. Oh well, at least it will go away once this baby comes.

I'm so excited to meet my little girl finally!

Dear Baby Girl,

2011-06-26T16:42:00.005-06:00

Dear Baby Girl,

I've been told that I'll get to a point where I'm completely done being pregnant and that is when you will finally come. I haven't hit that point yet, so I'm pretty sure I've still got little a while before I'll meet you.

You are due in less than a week but I'm not "miserable" by any means. Sure I have some swelling in my legs, feet, and hands. Sure, my back aches sometimes and I'm excited to lose my double chin. But overall, I'm not done being pregnant.

I'm so eager to meet you but at the same time I'm going to miss having you so safe inside me. I'm going to miss those little (and big) taps reminding me through the day that I'm not alone. I'm going to miss knowing exactly where you are at every moment and knowing that you are safe, warm, and cozy.

So come when you are ready little one. Your Daddy and I can't wait to meet you, but you aren't being a burden. If you want to stay in your current cozy home for a few more weeks that's fine. Just promise you'll grace the world with your presence eventually. It will be so much more lovely with you in it.

Love,

Mom

Busy Day at 36 Weeks Pregnant

2011-06-07T11:50:00.001-06:00

On Friday, my 36 week mark, I awoke with an unlimited amount of energy and a desire to conquer something. I rolled over and told Brett, "I want to go on a hike today". After a discussion about what hike I can do in my pregnant state, (I was set on hiking The Living Room) we finally agreed to hike Ensign Peak. It's a fairly casual/easy hike (though steep) that is around a mile long total.

The hike was beautiful. We enjoyed taking in the scenery and visiting together. As we made our way through a tunnel of trees we were greeted by a standard poodle who ran ahead of her owners to say hello. I bent down and held onto her collar while we waited for her owners to catch up. As they came around the bend in the trail we made small talk. After the owner had safely leashed the dog I stood upright. The man looked at my stomach and stepped back with his mouth gaping open.

"Wow, you're very..." he searched for the words.

"Pregnant?" I replied, "Yeah".

We continued up the peak without meeting many hikers and pausing often to soak in the scenery and to rest. The weather was perfect. Neither of us broke a sweat. Up at the top the view was amazing. We made it up in about 20 minutes and spent about 5-10 minutes visiting and enjoying the cool breeze.

It was fun to observe the reactions of the other hikers we met along the trail as we continued back down the mountain.

One woman said, "Are you trying to have this baby today?"

A man in a flannel shirt said, "Wow, I'm really impressed with you right now."

One man was furiously huffing and puffing his way up the hill, his eyes focused intently on his feet. Just as we were about to pass him he looked up and groaned, "Oh now I feel completely embarrassed."

After the hike, Brett suggested that we go out to lunch. He picked his favorite Chinese food place, The Dragon Diner on 39th South. Our lunch was perfect. The egg drop soup was the best I've had in years and the Mongolian beef I ordered melted in my mouth. Brett enjoyed his usual favorite item, the sesame chicken.

When we got home I mentioned that I still had a ton of energy. Brett got our mountain bikes together and attached them to our bike rack. We drove a few miles away to Parley's nature park and went on a really fun biking trail. I spent a lot of time in the lowest gear slowly powering up the hills, but I did it! It was an incredible feeling to be able to make it up these steep hills that I didn't think I'd be able to. Brett went off the trail a few times and got to enjoy some mountain biking that would be too risky and challenging for me in my pregnant state. It was fun to watch him having so much fun and to still be a part of it.

We got home and just as we were about to relax we were invited by Mike and Katie to come over to their new place for a swim. We thought it would be a fun way to cool down and relax after our busy day. It was so fun to feel weightless in the pool and to play with my adorable niece Alena.

After an eventful day you can definitely say that I conquered many things!

What a fun way to celebrate my 36 week mark!

Nursery Sneak Peek

2011-05-31T15:23:00.005-06:00

We can't wait to add all the final touches!

Baby Update: 32 Weeks

2011-05-15T21:40:00.000-06:00

So I wrote this over a week ago and I forgot to publish it! Here it is!

The Bump:

Maternity Clothes:

With spring finally making an appearance I am loving to wear flowy empire waist dresses. When I wear them, I almost forget that I am pregnant since I don't have the big belly panel suturing me in or my belt line pressing into my lower stomach. In this picture I'm still wearing capris without a belly band or the rubber band trick. Oh the joys of low rise jeans! I get such a strange satisfaction out of being able to pull on a pair of pants, zip, and button them.

Best Moment This Week:

The best moment this week was when I was coaching my sprinters outside. I was putting them through a rather intense workout and then I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the school window. I had this strange epiphany when I saw myself coaching while hugely pregnant. Yes, I'm huge. Yes, I don't look like I ran NCAA track just two seasons ago. But my athletes still respect and admire me. They don't see me as "The Prego Lady" they see me as "Coach".

Movement:

Since our daughter now weighs around four pounds her playful kicks, rolls, and jabs have turned a bit painful at times. She is a strong girl and my ribs, bladder, and anything else within her reach is taking quite the beating. At night when I lay down at the end of the day, my stomach literally rolls and shifts from side to side, up and down. I love feeling her move.

I'm still wondering if she ever sleeps since she literally moves all day long.

Food Craving:

My biggest craving through the majority of the pregnancy has been fruit. I love grapefruit, strawberries, grapes, apples, orange juice.

What I Miss:

I miss sprinting. I miss being able to demonstrate long jump and starts. I also miss sleeping on my stomach.

Sleep:

I have been sleeping very well lately. I had some issues with heartburn but I got some tums so I'm not kept awake by that burning in my chest.The only thing that is getting annoying is how much my hips are starting to hurt. After months of sleeping on my side my hips are begging for a break. Just a couple more months I remind them.

What I Am Looking Forward To:

The end of the school year, track, and moving to SLC!

Symptoms:

I'm happy to report I haven't thrown up in a month! I'm so happy to have the whole morning sickness out of the way. Sadly, the fatigue that I struggled with through the first trimester is back with a vengeance. As if fatigue in the third trimester isn't bad enough I also just found out this week that I am anemic so I'm on an iron supplement to get my red blood count back up. Hopefully my energy improves a bit.

I have braxton hicks contractions everyday but I don't really feel pain (usually). I can just feel my stomach tightening for 30-90 seconds and then it goes back to normal.

Baby Update: 28 Weeks

2011-04-07T18:38:00.001-06:00

The Bump:

Here's the bump at 28 weeks!

Maternity Clothes:

My sister-in-law Angie lent me her amazingly comfortable pajama bottoms. I am in heaven. If I could lounge around in them all day I would. I actually got them for her when she was pregnant and on bed rest. Thanks for letting me use them Angie! You are a complete lifesaver.

I'm wearing a lot of my old pants with the help of my bella band. I can still fit into my lowrise jeans and capris which is a good feeling considering I can't see my legs when I look down anymore.

Best Moment This Week:

Taking Wednesday off work for a doctor's appointment and then spending the morning with Brett. We had a lazy morning, went to the appointment, heard our little girl's heartbeat, and then got lunch at the Olive Garden. It was so fun to spend that time together.

Movement:

Our daughter is one active girl. She keeps me up at night with her tossing and turning. Sometimes I feel (and see) an elbow or heel slide from one side of my belly to the other. It is a really strange feeling. Baby girl especially enjoys kicking me in the ribs and tickling the bottom of my tummy with her fingers. She also gets hiccups occasionally which makes me smile.

I've been getting a little worried for when this baby comes out. She literally moves all day long and I wonder if she ever sleeps. I'm hoping she is just an active sleeper tossing and turning and jabbing me while dreaming about whatever fetuses dream about.

Food Craving:

Still loving my grapefruit, guacamole, apples, green olives, orange juice, milkshakes, and hummus. My newer cravings have been for Pace Juice Bars (especially the peach and lime flavor), omelets, chips & salsa, steak, and grilled cheese sandwiches (mozzarella).

The item that really "hit the spot" this week was the strawberry cheesecake swirl frozen yogurt from Frogurt.

I added kiwi, strawberries, and granola. It was absolute heaven in a cup.

What I Miss:

I miss being able to lean over and pick things up.

If I ever drop something I grunt like a cantankerous old man and then reluctantly prepare myself to lean over and pick it up. After spreading my legs apart as if I were attempting some yoga pose I reach down with my fingertips and I finally pick up the cursed object.

Something that used to take me 2 seconds to pick up now takes me about 10.

It is so humiliating.

Sleep:

Sleep is hit and miss at the moment. I can sleep pretty well but I often wake up either because the baby is moving so much, I'm uncomfortable, or my squished bladder is full. I do consider myself lucky though. I know most women at 28 weeks don't get as much sleep as I am enjoying.

What I Am Looking Forward To:

Spring Break! Brett and I have set some fun plans here in Utah for the week of Spring Break. We're going to go to the planetarium, the aquarium, a few nice dinners, a picnic, and some hikes. Can't wait!

I am also looking forward to the wedding of my incredible best friend Chelsey Kaplar to my equally amazing friend from high school Parry Cutler. They are getting married on August 5th in the Salt Lake temple. This was seriously a match that was years in the making. When I first met Chelsey in 2006 I tried to get her to write to Elder Cutler on his mission. But she didn't. Then when Parry got back from his mission I tried to set them up on a date. Again, didn't happen. They finally ended up meeting three years ago when I set them up on blind dates with other people (sneaky sneaky huh?). I set up Parry with my little sister and Chelsey with one of Brett's friends. A year after that group date (and after months of hanging out randomly) they finally started dating and now they are engaged. Chelsey says they just had to get together when the timing was right for them. :)

Symptoms:

I have braxton hicks contractions everyday but I don't really feel pain (usually). I can just feel my stomach tightening for 30-90 seconds and then it goes back to normal.

Baby Update: Starting the Third Trimester

2011-03-21T18:19:00.004-06:00

My sister-in-law Katie has the cutest way of keeping her family posted on her pregnancy. I thought it would be a fun way to document the rest of the pregnancy. Thanks for the idea!

The Bump:

Here's the bump in all its glory at 25 weeks and 3 days! I feel like I exploded just over the last two weeks. I'm starting my third trimester. Doc says baby is measuring about two weeks ahead.

Here's hoping for a June baby and not a huge July baby. :)

Maternity Clothes:

A couple weeks ago Brett and I bought a couple pairs of maternity work pants on sale at Kohls. I'm still wearing some of my old pants with the help of my bella band (complete life saver by the way) but I am loving the comfort of my maternity dress pants. Most of my shirts aren't maternity shirts, they are just shirts that are long and/or flowy enough that I can get away with wearing them.

Most fun recent purchase? Brett bought me some incredible comfy yoga pants. I love coming home and slipping into a pair of those and one of Brett's large t-shirts.

Best Moment This Week:

Brett and I went to a wedding on Saturday. It was only my third temple wedding that I have been able to witness and it is always such a wonderful opportunity to be present at such a wonderful event. My favorite part was hearing all of the promised blessings of a celestial marriage and being reminded that because of the covenants that Brett and I made, our family will be together forever. Hearing the promises of the temple moved me more than ever now that I am carrying our first child,
our first promised blessing.

Movement:

So up till last week I mostly felt faint little flutters and thumps. Now I can tell if this little girl is ever awake because if she is awake she is moving. She's the most active in the morning when I am teaching my first four class periods and late at night when I lay down. She also seems to kick a lot more when I eat apples. She is quite the powerful kicker and she responds when my belly is touched. Just yesterday Brett was hugging me and he felt a swift kick in his stomach when our stomachs met.
I told him our little girl was just saying hi.

Food Craving:

Grapefruit, grapefruit, and grapefruit. I tell you I can't get enough of them! If I sit down and start with half of a grapefruit I will ultimately end up eating another, and another, and another.
Just last night I ate three (that's six halfs) in one sitting.

Baby girl is also loving guacamole, apples (especially green apples), green olives, orange juice (the favorite has been Simply Orange with Mango), milk, milkshakes,
hummus and pita bread, and BYU Creamery ice cream.

What I Miss:

Sprinting. I'm coaching track and although I am able to demonstrate a lot more than I thought I'd be able to, I still can't do what I'm used to and it is very depressing.
I miss the completely freeing feeling of sprinting as fast as I can and feeling the wind in my hair.

I also miss my waist. I see cute clothes in the store that flatter the waist and make a mental note that I will rock that outfit that once I have a waist again.

Sleep:

I've been pretty restless lately. It's hard when I am trying to fall asleep and our little girl is just doing summer saults and kicking all over the place. I love feeling the kicks and I savor the moment, but then I end up staying up far to late counting the "thump... thump...thumps" that she sends my way. It's getting harder to get comfortable and I find myself tossing and turning all night. (Which is really different for me considering that I usually have no problem sleeping or getting comfortable). The positive change in my sleep? I'm no longer waking up to excruciating leg cramps in my sleep anymore. Those evil charley horses plagued me almost every night from weeks 16-22.

What I Am Looking Forward To:

Spring break! Brett and I were planning to take a train to San Francisco for our babymoon, but we decided it would be better to hang around close and take a mini vacation here in Utah. We're going to go have a spa day, go out to a few fancy dinners, see some sights, and spend some money on activities we normally wouldn't. I can't wait! Also, Brett and I are moving to Salt Lake City at the end of May.

I am so excited to live closer to family and friends in the city.

Symptoms:

I'm so happy to have the whole morning sickness and extreme fatigue out of the way. I still throw up about once every couple weeks but it isn't because of nausea, it's usually caused by coughing in the morning. My gag reflex is still super sensitive.

Right now I have a lot of energy and I've been in a very good mood. Baby girl has caused me to have some sciatica, pain and tingling down my legs, but that comes and goes. I have had more back pain as well as my belly continues to push out and out.

Let's Hear It for the Boy!

2011-03-07T18:50:00.002-07:00

If you get irritated by that girl who goes on and on and on about how amazing her husband is and just gushes about all the amazing things he does, then you may want to stop reading now because this is going to get gushy.

Last chance. You're still here?

Well here goes.

This man...

deserves a massive thank you. Brett has been an amazing support to me over the last few months. Here is a list of just 10 of the things he's done the last few months that have meant the world to me.

While I spent a few months vomiting a few times a day, Brett was at my side rubbing my back, holding my hair, with crackers and a cup of ginger ale to help ease my stomach when I was through.
Brett single-handedly washed every dirty dish for nearly three months so that I could "rest" (aka pass out for five hours) and avoid throwing up.
He has made the drive to and from Provo between work and class to bring me Einstein Bagles, Jdawgs, Olive Garden soup and salad, and anything else my heart desires.
He has rubbed my swollen feet, my achy back, and my growing belly.
He has cooked when I am too tired to cook, he's cleaned when I am too worn out to clean.
He still snuggles me even though I've inherited a new sleeping habit from pregnancy (snoring!)
He has been understanding when I've been frustrated, emotional, and moody.
He surprises me with notes, treats, and acts of service to remind me that he loves me.
Brett tells me I'm beautiful and compliments my ever-changing body every single day.
Brett has been completely selfless and willing to help in whatever way he can. (Oh and he hasn't complained once).

In addition to all that, Brett has been a huge support to his parents in SLC while they have been going through a rough time. For the last few months Brett and I have been taking trips up to Salt Lake City every weekend and sometimes weekdays. Back in November we received news that Brett's dad Cliff has cancer. In December, Cliff went through two intensive surgeries. Cliff has recovered beautifully from those operations and is now on his third week of chemotherapy.

Cliff is the most active man you will ever meet, but the surgery and the chemo have made it difficult for him to do the things he's used to doing. Brett has spent his weekends doing whatever he can to help around the house and be a support to his parents. He spends his weekends rubbing his dad's feet, shoveling, cutting firewood, pruning trees, painting (his parent's entire basement), working in the garden, moving five full filing cabinets (drawer by drawer), moving furniture upstairs, moving furniture downstairs, organizing the garage, hanging blinds, installing light fixtures, and doing anything else to help his dad and mom. I don't know how he has all the energy to do it, but I know that I am really lucky. Brett is a helper. He will do anything he can to help the people that he loves and it makes him so happy to serve. I feel so lucky that he loves me. I'm so lucky that I have him as my husband and I know he will be an incredible Dad.

So let's hear it for Brett! He sure deserves some recognition.

Belly Update and First Track Practice

2011-03-07T17:42:00.000-07:00

Here's the belly at 23 weeks 3 days.

I'm back to coaching track again and this season is definitely different than any other track season because I'm carrying a football in my stomach. I must say it feels weird wearing my old track gear with a pregnant belly. I feel like a track star who got into trouble.

Today was our first practice and I was a little worried going into it. I have quite the hands-on coaching mentality and I usually do every workout, drill, etc. with my kids. This made me wonder, how on earth am I supposed to coach? I can't do abs anymore. I can't do any exercise while on my back. I can't exert myself and I can't sprint. I'm barely allowed to break a sweat. In addition to that we had over 200 kids sign up for track this year.

I'm happy to report that today's practice went very well. Since my belly isn't too huge I was able to demonstrate all of the sprinting drills thanks to a support belt that my sister-in-law gave me. I did however have to keep reminding myself to take it easy. My muscles remember how to do all the drills and they want to do them perfectly and quickly. I had to keep reminding my legs to not get carried away! I also had amazing returning athletes from last year who remembered every drill and could help demonstrate to the other athletes.

It's going to be interesting changing up my coaching style but I think I'm up for the challenge.

It's a...

2011-02-14T19:06:00.000-07:00

Baby Bump Photoshoot: 19 1/2 weeks

2011-02-09T16:19:00.004-07:00

Brett and I went to a nearby park with our Canon Powershot and played model and photographer (since I finally have a bump to show off). It made for a really fun date.

Here are the highlights, along with some of my favorite quotes about pregnancy.

Before you were born I carried you under my heart. From the moment you arrived in this world until the moment I leave it, I will always carry you in my heart.

~ Mandy Harrison

I begin to love this creature,
and to anticipate her birth
as a fresh twist to a knot,
which I do not wish to untie.
~ Mary Wollstonecraft

A baby is something you carry inside you for nine months,

in your arms for three years and in your heart till the day you die. ~ Mary Mason

Making a decision to have a child--it's momentous.

It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

~ Elizabeth Stone

A great joy is coming.

~ Author Unknown

No language can express the power and beauty and heroism

of a mother's love. ~ Edwin H. Chapin

Life is always a rich and steady time when you

are waiting for something to happen or to hatch ~ E.B. White

Everything grows rounder and wider and weirder,

and I sit here in the middle of it all and wonder

who in the world you will turn out to be.

~ Carrie Fisher

Pregnancy Questions, Thumper, and the Power of the Words "You Can't"

2011-02-08T18:07:00.002-07:00

There are many things I don't miss about the first trimester of my pregnancy. I don't miss my sensitive gag reflex that glued me to the toilet for about ten weeks. I don't miss the fatigue that made it nearly impossible to get out of bed in the morning and nearly impossible to avoid my bed after 3:30pm. I don't miss my limited diet which blandly consisted of saltine crackers and popcicles.

But I do miss those 14 weeks before we shared the news, when Brett and I had this little sacred secret that was for only us to know. Now that my belly has grown, the secret is definitely out.

I'm happy to grow rounder and wider as the weeks pass. It is a visual reminder of the growth and actual presence of our baby. A reminder I need now that I'm no longer dealing with the daily symptoms of pregnancy I was so accustomed to.

It was hard at first to not share the news with the entire world, but now that it is fairly obvious there are moments I wish that my belly were still flat and the secret were not out.

When people find out women are pregnant they immediately start asking questions:

Most of them are innocent enough:

"When are you going to find out the gender?"

"When are you due?"

"Who's your doctor?"

"Have you had morning sickness?"

Some not so appropriate:

"Are you coming back to work next year?"

"How much weight have you gained?"

"Have you been constipated?"

"Was your baby planned?" (No joke. I literally have been asked this one over fifteen times and I've realized there is no correct way to answer this question).

"Do you have any names picked out?" (Which is innocent enough, but it becomes inappropriate when they start bashing those names you love).

"Are you planning to get an epidural?"

Now I don't mind the questions. A pregnant belly is an instant conversation starter and I know that the majority of these people are just trying to show they are interested in the pregnancy. While all of the inappropriate questions do get annoying, the one that tops the charts of starting the most awkward conversations involves the last one on my list, "Are you planning to get an epidural?"

It's not the question that is so bad, it's the comments that I receive after I answer this question that is what makes it the most obnoxious. See, I am planning to have a natural childbirth (cue the laughing, scoffing, eye roll, and/or mumbled yeah right). Which is why this question is my least favorite question.

Just today, I ended up having this discussion three times with three different women. After I said the dreaded words, "I'm planning to have a natural childbirth" these were the responses:

One woman said, "That's a nice thought but it'll never happen."

Another woman laughed out loud and bluntly responded, "No you won't."

And the last said, "You can plan all you want but after one contraction you'll be begging for the drugs."

Now my favorite part about this is that I met two out of these three women for the first time today and this exchange occurred in our very first conversation. The other is an acquaintance from work who I've spoke to a handful of times. First, how do they know me well enough to make such a sudden determination of how I will handle the labor and delivery? Second, how do they have the nerve to so boldly shoot down my plans and desires when they barely know me? And last, what is so wrong with just saying, "That's great" or just nodding and changing the subject?

I find it very sad that some women feel they are entitled to tell women who are planning a natural childbirth that she can't do it, that it is not possible, or that she is out of her mind.

A little bunny once said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all." If you don't support a woman's decision to have a natural childbirth or if you think this woman isn't cut out for it then please don't share your opinion. There is nothing wrong with saying "Know that your plans may change. I had a hard time and ended up having an epidural." What is not okay is making a judgment of the pregnant woman by saying "You can't."

When it comes to natural childbirth, I wish women would help to empower other women. Whether or not you had an epidural or a natural childbirth you can help to empower and support a woman who has that as her goal. Why belittle a woman with good intentions going into her labor/delivery? Just because one woman chose to have an epidural doesn't mean that another woman is completely incapable of doing it without. Instead of focusing on what a woman cannot do lets instead focus on what women can do. We are women. We are strong and capable. Our bodies are made for this. For some women giving birth naturally is the single most empowering moment of their lives. Why take that away from a woman by telling her she is incapable? That she is weak? That it is impossible?

I recognize that many women who plan to have a natural childbirth often change their plan and ask for the epidural. I know that this may even happen to me. However, I wonder if that number would change if women were more supportive of one another. One thing I learned in my life is the terrible strength of the words "you can't." Those negative words become negative thoughts and those thoughts lead to actions. I wonder how many more women would be successful in their natural childbirth plans if the other women in their lives would just say "you can." Those two words are a positive mantra that lead to success.

I'm sure that I will have this conversation another hundred or so times over the course of my pregnancy but I luckily do recognize that although these women are choosing to put me down instead of lifting me up, it will not affect my plan to have a natural delivery. I did not make this decision lightly. My decision will not change because of a stranger's opinion of what is possible or what I am capable of.

"Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching?" ~Dennis and Wendy Mannering

*** Edited to specify: This post is not meant to be pro natural childbirth or anti-epidural. What I wanted to focus on is the need for women to support other women in the choices they make.

Plato's Closet and Finally Looking Pregnant

2011-02-07T17:15:00.001-07:00

After months of definitely FEELING pregnant, it's about time I look pregnant. My bump decided to finally make an appearance last week and I decided it's high time I wear some clothes to show it off.

Over the weekend I went with my Mom and my friend Chelsey to Plato's Closet in Draper. Chelsey has been trying to get me to go with her to Plato's Closet for years, but we just never got around to it. Boy was I missing out. This is not your average second hand store. They have really cute clothes that are fashionable but still with the thrift store price tag. They had their Grab Bag sale on Saturday and we thought we'd try and score some clothes. Sadly, we got there after all their clearance items had been picked over, but we still decided we'd see what bargains we could get.

I ended up spending $70 and all together scored about eight different adorable outfits. Now, they aren't "maternity clothes" which is nice because I will actually be able to wear them after the baby. I bought some long jersey fabric shirts, flowy empire waist dresses, cardigans, and a few tight stretchy shirts with ruching on the sides. I've had so much fun wearing my outfits the last couple days because they really show off my new cute shape.

I am hoping that I won't have to buy a lot of legitimate maternity clothes. My goal is to only buy a few necessities like some nice maternity dress pants for work.

I've realized putting the word "maternity" in front of the word "clothes" is the equivalent of putting "wedding" in front of the word "dress". For some reason just the word "maternity" means adding an additional 50% to the price. I'm so happy I was able to buy adorable clothes for $5-$14 a piece that I'll be able to wear while pregnant and while I'm not.

Bump

2011-02-02T21:59:00.001-07:00

Today the baby decided to show itself. 

18 weeks and 5 days!

Valentine's Day = Gender Day!

2011-01-31T15:39:00.002-07:00

Brett and I are so excited for February 14th. 

First, even though we've been in love for nearly five years, this will be our very first Valentine's Day together! The first two were spent in different countries (Brett was on his LDS mission) and the last two were spent in different states because of our track and field schedules.

Second, Valentine's Day also happens to be our 20 week ultrasound appointment! So we will find out if little Baby Birkeland is going to look like this:

or like this:

Vote on the right-hand column whether you think Baby Birkeland is a BOY or a GIRL! 

In my classroom I've tried to keep my students involved in the pregnancy. It's been fun. I keep a sign on the board that says "This week Baby Birkeland is the size of..." and then I either bring a fruit to class and keep it up at the board for the week or I just write it down. (Because who wants an onion in the classroom?) 

We thought we'd make finding out the gender a bit interesting. At the back of my classroom I have two posters. One is pink and one is blue.  My students from each class period have voted whether they think the baby is a boy or a girl. Whoever is correct gets a treat after we find out the gender. 

The boys are definitely in the lead at the moment. Mostly because the boys only want to vote for boy and the girls tend to be split. 

As for what Brett and I think the baby is? Well for some reason we both think it's a boy. Now we have no real reason to suspect that this little one is a boy, except that it just feels like it and we tend to always refer to Baby as "he".  Do we want a boy more than a girl? No, not at all. But for some reason, if we find out the baby is a boy we won't be one bit surprised and if it is a girl we will both be shocked but completely excited. 

2 weeks to go! Can't wait!

Metaphors

2011-01-26T18:23:00.000-07:00

Metaphors

I'm a riddle in nine syllables,
An elephant, a ponderous house,
A melon strolling on two tendrils.
O red fruit, ivory, fine timbers!
This loaf's big with its yeasty rising.
Money's new-minted in this fat purse.
I'm a means, a stage, a cow in calf.
I've eaten a bag of green apples,
Boarded the train there's no getting off.

-Sylvia Plath

This may be old news to many of you, but for those of you who still haven't heard Brett and I are expecting a little addition to our family on July 1st. This sonogram is from 12 weeks. I'm about 18 weeks along now and we will find out the gender on Valentine's day!

I just realized my last post was over seven months ago. I apologize, life has been very very busy. I promise to post a recap very soon as well as weekly updates on the belly and baby.

Recent Happenings

2010-06-16T18:21:00.001-06:00

So a lot has happened since our last post:

1. Mapleton Track and Field won the district championship meet! It was a blast to coach such a great group of kids. I can't wait to coach them again next year!

2. Brett and his fellow BYU brethren brought home another conference championship!

3. Brett and I both got teaching jobs! I will be teaching 8th grade English at Mapleton Junior High and Brett will be a Special Education TA at Reagan Academy. We feel so blessed that the two jobs I took this spring lead to two amazing opportunities for both of us! It was a rough few months there, but we know now it was all worth it.

4. We are moving out of our place in Provo to a basement apartment of an adorable home in Mapleton (2 minutes from my school!) We make the move on June 26th!

5. We went on an incredible trip to Montreal over Memorial Day weekend. Brett served an LDS mission there for two years. It was amazing to walk the streets he walked and experience the wonderful goodness of poutine, the metro, Haitian food, beaver tails, etc. We'll be posting a more in depth blog about the trip but here are a few pics for your viewing pleasure. (Click here to view our facebook photo album from the trip.)

6. My brother Mike and his cute little family are moving to Salt Lake City from Mesa Arizona next week. We are so excited that they are going to be so close! Katie got a job at Wells Fargo and Mike will be focusing on his photography business Eli Mac Photography.

Man vs. Two Women

2010-04-28T19:50:00.004-06:00

So, Haley went to work this morning and I was to go shopping. Last night we went over a list of things to buy at the store formerly known as Albertsons because they had a sale starting this morning. Haley's favorite kind of chocolate chips that are usually $2.50 for one bag were on sale for 98 cents a bag! Haley instructed me to buy 10 bags, enough to make her incredible chocolate chip oatmeal cookies for months.

I went to the store at 8:45 am and the shelf was almost barren! There I see a lady in her thirties with who I assume was her mother hoarding what was left. The ad said you can only buy 6 per customer. Well, these little deviants had a system of one lady grabbing six, going through the self-checkout station and running to the car to drop them off, then returning for more. So, as I'm standing there watching, I realize that there is only one more box at the far end. I remembered how much Haley LOVES those chocolate chips and I knew I couldn't fail her.

The women looked at me with a gaze of curiosity. Then I lunged forward and took the whole box!! Then their gaze became one of disgust and honestly a little angry. They obviously knew I couldn't buy all twelve in the box, so they waited to see what I would do with the six extra bags. "Well," I thought, "two can play at this game."

So I continued shopping, then I found myself in the domestic area of the store. Nobody was around so I moved a big section of napkins for sale, stashed 6 of the bags, returned the napkins to their proper place and headed for the check-out. Sure enough, the women were still in the area. If they were men I would have worried they would jump me with the way they were looking at me. I bought my six bags, dropped off my chips in the car, then went back for more! I entered the store, bee-lined it to the napkins, snagged my other six bags and returned to the check-out area to rub it in the faces of those women.

So, I bought twelve bags of Guittard Milk Chocolate Chips for my wife and I'm pretty sure I seriously offended two women in the process. Ha! The joke is on them for trying to hoard all the chocolate chips.

Looking beyond the flaws...

2010-04-07T11:50:00.003-06:00

Here is my usual bedtime ritual:

I brush my teeth, I may or may not floss, I wash my face with cetaphil, and I remove my contacts. I lean forward closer and closer to the mirror (because I'm blind without my contacts) and then, turning my head slowly from one side to the other, I examine my face for any little zit, flaw, red mark, etc. I may pick at a scab on my chin, pluck a few stray hairs from between my eyebrows, and squeeze a white head or two. I turn out the bathroom light, close the door, and head to bed.

Last night, somewhere between clawing at that scab on my chin and and prodding my face with my fingers in search of zits, I paused for a moment. I realized that although I was looking at myself, I wasn't really looking at myself. I was looking my flaws, each and every one of them.

I saw the big red mark on my chin, I saw the annoying scar on my cheek, I saw the peach fuzz, the stray hairs and the crooked teeth. What I wasn't seeing was me. The big picture. Beautiful, lovely, me.

So many times we focus on the flaws. We focus on the zit, the scab, the scar, the extra 5 pounds, the stretch mark, the wrinkle. Likewise, we focus on the one thing during the day that didn't go our way; the flat tire, the menstrual cramps, the broken dish, the stain on the carpet, the gossiping neighbor, the messy kid, the argument, the leaky pipe, the empty bank account, or the bad grade.

I am guilty of turning out that bathroom light without ever seeing the big picture. I pick at all my flaws and I don't bother to step back and really look at myself. I don't bother to see the the dusting of freckles across the bridge of my cute button nose, or the way my eyes crinkle up when I smile. I'm guilty of sometimes ending my day in a bad mood, laying in bed reliving each annoying experience while simultaneously laying right there beside the greatest blessing in my life, Brett. I am guilty of often forgetting that those little flaws in my days, as annoying as frustrating as they can be, can't even compare to the wonderful people and experiences that enrich my life daily.

Tonight, during your bedtime ritual, take some time away from scrutinizing the flaws of your face and the low points of your day.

Don't forget to look at the whole you: wonderful, beautiful, lovely you.

My Best Friend

2010-04-05T00:44:00.001-06:00

This Easter, I've been thinking a lot about my best friend.

If you don't know Him yet, you should meet Him. He already knows and loves you. He is your big brother, your advocate, your friend, your companion, and your savior.

His name is Jesus Christ.

Holi Festival of Colors

2010-03-28T23:32:00.014-06:00

On Saturday Brett and I went to Holi Festival of Colors in Spanish Fork. Holi is a spring festival that is celebrated by the Hindus and Sikhs. During the festival there are bonfires, music, traditional dancing, and then the throwing of colors. This is definitely the most fun I've ever had celebrating the arrival of spring. Even Brett (who isn't a huge fan of getting messy) had an absolute blast. It was amazing to see the juxtaposition between the Indian architecture of the Krishna Temple and the snow capped rocky mountains.

Here's a video of the fun we had this year! You wouldn't believe how many people were there and how colorful everyone gets.

My favorite phenoms' road to a new name

2010-03-24T22:59:00.008-06:00

So, here I sit. Haley suggested that I write a post on our blog tonight and I accepted. I was contemplating about writing about what will happen to me in nine hours....some random person will yank four teeth from my mouth while I'm not even unconscious! But then I came to my senses and realized that if I don't even want to write about it, even fewer people will want to read about it.

Perhaps what interests me will interest you. hmmmm.?

I've always been entranced by Shania Twain, Faith Hill, and now....Lady Gaga??? Now, let's get something straight, I love country music and old school rock songs. I am not in love with new age type music. So the fact that for some reason I find Lady Gaga's music rather addicting will remain a secret.

So, here is what interests me. These obviously aren't their real names, so how did they stumble into them?

Shania Twain was born Eilleen Regina Edwards but took her Native American stepfather's last name of Twain at the age of 9. When she was 26 she signed a record deal with Mercury records and changed her name to "Shania." It means "I'm on my way" in Ojibwa, the language of her stepfather.

Faith Hill was born and quickly adopted by the Perry family. She was Audrey Faith Perry. Her first marriage was to a man named Daniel Hill and it lasted six years. She kept the last name but always went by "Faith," her middle name.

Our most recent phenom, Lady Gaga was born Stefani Germanotta but her producer compared her voice to that of Freddy Mercury, the lead singer of Queen. Her producer said she would be as popular as Queen's hit song, "Radio Ga Ga." While texting those words to Stefani it was autocorrected to "Lady Gaga" and it became her moniker.

I've always wanted a stage name. Some alius that I could use for either flying under the radar or promoting myself as the next hit sensation. But alas, I have no such name. (Although I'm open to suggestions)

Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-24T12:06:00.006-06:00

Our future babies

2010-03-23T22:52:00.006-06:00

On Friday night we had our good friends Matt and Hillary Romney over for a belated St. Patrick's Day dinner.

After we had our fill of root beer and corned beef & cabbage, we decided to wind down in the front room. We got to talking about kids and Mrs. Romney showed us a little game that is supposed to predict how many kids you are going to have along with each child's gender. It is incredibly scientific process and 100% accurate. (Okay I lied about that, it involves a piece of string and a wedding ring.)

She tells me that if it turns in a circle it's a girl, if it moves side to side it's a boy. When the ring goes still, you are done having babies. When Mr. and Mrs. Romney did the test they both had the same number of kids and the same gender! Kinda spookey, but I guess we won't actually know if it was accurate till they have 5 kids. We repeated this test with my Mom and it was 100% accurate (2 boys and a girl). Brett's Mom did the test once at a party and it was right on for their 6 children. It was also right for every other woman in the room.

So I take off my ring and string the piece of yarn through it. Mrs. Romney asks me to hold my left hand straight out with my palm up and my thumb out. Taking the piece of string with the ring in the middle she "dips" the ring three times between my thumb and my pointer finger. Then she holds the string above my palm and we analyze the way it moves.

It moves in a circle which means that child #1 is a GIRL

She stops the ring and makes it still. We go for round two.

She dips the ring "1... 2.... 3..." this time the ring goes side to side. Child #2 is a BOY!

"1...2....3" Child # 3 is a DAUGHTER

"1...2....3" Child #4 is a SON

Onto the next child. "1...2...3..." We watch the ring go side to side then suddenly switch and go to a circle. Hillary gets giddy as she says, "I think that means you'll have twins!"

So pregnancy #5 = TWINS

(Is it totally odd that I got really excited and was smiling like a fool at this point?)

Hillary goes to dip the ring again... "1....2....3..."

She holds it up to my palm and it doesn't move. Looks like we'll stop at 6.

Now it's Brett's turn ... The moment of truth

1...2....3 GIRL
1...2...3 BOY
1...2...3 DAUGHTER
1...2...3 SON
1...2...3 And this time, the ring goes instantly from a circle to side to side. TWINS AGAIN!!!

I was seriously giddy, even though this is a complete wives tale. I was so excited. I was smiling and imagining all of their cute little faces. I was imagining that our oldest daughter would play house with the younger daughter and force one of their brothers to be "daddy". Even though I know this test isn't scientific I was just so happy. Maybe it was just because I felt like I was getting to know my kids even though I don't know them at all yet.

There are times when I wish Brett and I could just get a little sneak peak 10 years into the future so I could see what they all look like, find out who they are, and hug them. I dream about our son ALL the time. But he never tells me his name. Which is a shame because I know in my dream that his name rocks... but when I wake up I never remember it.

Ah well. This blog post isn't to say that I know for sure how many kids I am going to have and in what order, but mostly to say that I just can't wait to meet them. Whether we have all girls or all boys, or five boys and one girl, it doesn't really matter. What will matter is that they will be here and I'll be able to hug them all goodnight.

So hey, you babies in heaven. I love you. Night night, and I'll be hugging each of you soon.

An evening in the life of a married couple

2010-03-22T22:36:00.005-06:00

earlier tonight...

Brett and I went to Albertsons (I guess it's called "A Fresh Market" now).
We bought 6 lemons, 3 potatoes, and 2 lbs of 97% lean ground beef.

We watched The Princess and The Frog, ate enchilada casserole, and held hands...

...it was a good day.

i love: eShakti Day Dresses

2010-03-21T23:45:00.014-06:00

i love: eShakti Day Dresses

I stumbled onto this website a few months ago after reading about it in a blog post on c jane enjoy it.

eShakti has the most adorable sun dresses for afordable prices and get this... you can customize the dress before you order it. You can change the neckline, sleeve length, and the hemline. There are several options for each dress.

eShakti is a godsend for us gals who never seem to be able to find that perfect dress that isn't sleeveless, doesn't have a plunging neckline, and doesn't require constant adjustments or layers to stay modest. I often get bored of the Shade and DownEast Basics dresses that have the same cookie cutter "mormon" cut. eShakti has so many different styles and designs to fit every girl's personality.

Spring fever has hit and I am craving about 13 of these dresses. Here are a few more of my faves:

The joys of stop-motion music videos...

2010-03-15T11:42:00.006-06:00

So can I just tell you how much I LOVE stop-motion films? I seriously just think they are the best. Here are two of my faves.

14 Signs That Things Are Looking Up

2010-03-08T22:53:00.004-07:00

1. I got 2 new jobs!
2. I'm now a substitute teacher at Reagan Academy
3. I'm also the new Girl's Head Coach at Mapleton Junior High
4. I just discovered the amazing awesomeness that is Sunflower Farmers Market
5. Brett got an iPod! (Yeah he's one of the cool kids now)
6. SUNLIGHT
7. The grass seems to get slightly greener every day
8. Glee episodes will be back on air in less than an month
9. I can breathe out of my nose which means my cold is finally clearing up
10. Outdoor track and field is on its way!
11. Coupon clipping
12. SPRING
13. My sub position will be permanent soon! I'm taking over an assistant teaching position for a woman going on maternity leave.
14. I'm married to Brett. Things can't get much better than that.

Exciting news but not exactly the kind of news you want to announce...

2010-02-15T11:27:00.008-07:00

I quit my job. ***

(*** Technically I turned down a job offer. The company that I worked for went out of business in January. The owner of the company started a new business and invited me on board... but I declined.)

I know this may not seem like exciting news (especially considering the poo dump that is our economy) but I must say this is a very very good thing.

I enjoyed my job and it was a great learning experience for me, but a lot of the reason why I decided to work instead of earn a graduate degree or teaching certificate was because I thought this job had a great opportunity for me to receive benefits and great pay to help get us through Brett's schooling. But alas, 2009 was quite the doosey and neither perk came through. To make matters worse, not only was I not getting a raise or benefits, but soon all employees lost benefits and then shortly after that the business went under. Though the owner of the company kept some of us on for a new endeavor, I found out that with this new company I'd go from being an hourly employee with some security to a contracted employee with little security. That demotion was a bit hard to take considering I was working so much harder than I ever had before and because I had been told to expect a promotion and a raise for over a year.
Besides all the new developments with my job, I have also been struggling with the fact that I work from home and don't have face to face interactions with my clients or coworkers. Moving to Provo and simultaneously finishing school and track was already hard enough. I went from being a busy student and member of an amazing track team who I saw every single day, to working online 40 hours a week and rarely leaving the house. It is very common for me to go days without seeing anyone but Brett. (Not that I don't love spending time with Brett, but everyone needs other friendships and daily social interactions) It's been difficult for me, Miss People Person, to not have those valuable interactions and to be at home all day.

In short, the stress of this job took quite a toll on me and at the end of the day keeping the job wasn't worth the cost of our happiness and sanity. Brett and I made the decision together to not sign with the new company and my boss was very understanding and supportive.

Brett and I have always stressed the importance pursuing a career we love. I want to have a career in something I am passionate about and I know that I am passionate about working with youth and teaching. There is never a better time to get cracking on pursuing that goal than the present right? Now is the best time to pursue what I want to do before Brett and I decide to start a family.

I am currently in the process of applying to the ARL (Alternate Route to Lincensure) Program through the state. Once accepted, I will be able to teach 7th-12th grade English full-time while I earn my teaching certificate.

In the meantime, I am looking for a tutoring, teaching assistant, paraprofessional, after-school, or coaching position. Pretty much anything that involves working with youth. I'd also be open to working as an editor, content writer, or assistant so long as I can work in an office environment and not from home. So if any of you know of anything, please let me know.

It's stressful job hunting, but a good stressful. I am just happy that I am finally on my way to pursuing a rewarding career that I am passionate about. I already feel as if this huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Please be understanding and avoid judgment at this time. Brett and I weighed our options carefully and made this very difficult decision together. We really need all of your love and support right now.

Wordless Wed-nes-day

2010-02-10T09:36:00.004-07:00

Is it weird that every time I type the word Wednesday I sound it out in my head Wed-Nes-Day?

Just a thought...

Tim Tebow as "Messiah" - Photoshopped into LDS Image

2010-02-04T18:33:00.006-07:00

Can I just tell you how appalled I was when I saw this image in a recent article featured on Yahoo Sports?

(Click Here For Article)

The image featured in the article depicts a photoshopped Tim Tebow in place of the Messiah in a well known Mormon image "The Second Coming" by Harry Anderson. Whether this is intended as a fan image or a jest, the fact that either side would replace the Savior with Tim Tebow is offensive and unsettling. I know Tebow would be disgusted to see this as well. I just have to say it is a shame that our media mocks someone for being religious by also mocking the Savior. Sure, go ahead and make fun of Tebow for being overrated, cocky, and a bit self-righteous. But don't mock Christ and deface this beautiful piece of artwork that members of the church cherish.

It is a shame that being Christ-like or religious makes you an easy target of these kinds of blasphemous jokes. I would expect something like this from some dense fan or critic, but not from Yahoo! Sports.

Feel good song for the day...

2010-01-28T10:42:00.004-07:00

Everyone said the first year would be the hardest...

2009-12-21T22:02:00.017-07:00

Brett and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary on December 19th, sorry this took so long to post!

Everyone said the first year would be the hardest.

I hope they're right.

Not because this past year was a struggle, but because it was heaven. If the worst is over, then I'd love to see what is to come.

It's not that everything has been perfect, we've had our fair share of trials, but I find that Brett and I are very well suited for married life.

As the babies of our families (Brett being the youngest in his family to marry) I think some looked at our young marriage as a juvenile dream based on unrealistic ideas about marriage and love. I think some even secretly hoped that the big bad world of marriage would blow up in our faces so that they could say, "I told you so." I can't even begin to count the number of times someone (sometimes a stranger) would ask us how long we'd been married in reaction to our comments on the joys of marriage or our cuddly nature. No matter how long we'd been married the person would say, "Oh just you wait till you hit the ____ month mark. Then you'll see." It always seemed to be the next month, so Brett and I would wait for the 3 month mark, 4 month mark, 8 month mark. It seemed to be a ticking time bomb that still has yet to explode. I'm not saying that I think marriage is easy, every marriage has its struggles, but it is so beyond worth it. Marriage isn't a "ball and chain." Quite the contrary, marriage is the greatest blessing in my life and the funnest adventure.

I was terrified of marriage as a young girl. Sure I was still a hopeless romantic and dreamed of the white dress, who the man would be, and what my kids would look like one day. Like any other little girl, I spun the stem off the top of the apple, counting the letters "A, B, C..." to find out the first letter of the name of the man I would marry. But having grown up in a single home, I had a very tough time thinking about the actual specifics of marriage. The idea of two partners that give and take and work together was something that was a bit foreign to me. My mother raised me on her own, and the only example of a marriage I had was my dad and step-mom who I only saw on occasional trips to Idaho. That was one of the only examples I really had in my life, and sadly a week after Brett and I announced our engagement I received news that that marriage too was ending in a divorce. I guess divorce is what has always made me terrified of marriage. In a way, I think people avoid things that have hurt them.

But I was lucky to have an amazing example in my life, my mother, who always taught me wonderful lessons from mistakes. She always stressed the importance of learning a lesson after we made a mistake and she also taught us lessons from her life. She has always been incredibly open with me about her marriage to my dad and what went wrong. Though it is hard to hear sometimes, I appreciate her advice and openness. She also always reminded me that although her marriage didn't work out, I have the power to make mine successful. I've heard all the studies saying that children of divorced parents are "at risk" for getting a divorce and all other kinds of challenges. But my mom always reminded us that we had control over our lives and the power to make it what we want. I feel like because of all these lessons from my mother I entered my marriage with realistic expectations and I was already armed with life lessons I had learned from her.

Brett made me brave. Even before he left on his mission I could easily imagine being married to him, growing old with him, and taking on the challenges of life together. And I so looked forward to it. Brett's two year mission strengthened our relationship because we had to support and love one another up from thousands of miles apart. Our relationship survived many trials and challenges that those two years apart brought us. And we are stronger for it.

When Brett got back and we realized quickly that this was it we were both a bit scared. Though we were both thrilled we had found one another, marriage was an intimidating thing for two 21 year olds. But we knew it was all going to work out and that we would begin this amazing adventure together. Though I didn't have a solid example of a marriage "gone right," I did have Brett and our united faith that we were meant to be together and that we could work through anything. As time went by I realized all the amazing examples of marriage I did have, like Brett's parents Cliff and Lynne, and our siblings Eric and Kelly, Brian and Angie, Lars and Kera, Becca and Matt, James and Tiffany, Mike and Katie, and Denise and Jason. We also had so much support from family and friends who had been rooting for us for years.

Where I am weak, Brett is strong, and vice-versa... We work so well together. Brett has taught me that I don't have to do everything on my own. And I've taught him to dance. Marriage has been a fun adventure and it's been so incredible to have my best-friend and love with me day in day out. We strengthen one another and lift each other up. We help one another through the tough times and celebrate the good times.

More than anything, I've loved all the little things of marriage: the shared toothbrush holder, getting tucked in, picking up milk and bread from the grocery store, giving up the last cookie, decorating our Christmas tree, writing little love notes, still Facebook stalking each other when we live in the same home, holding hands in the car, arguing over who's turn it is to turn out the light... etc.

And I hope that we are still that nauseating snugly couple years from now, still being asked if we are newlyweds...

The true meaning of Christmas

2009-12-11T14:06:00.009-07:00

These two videos are incredible reminders that we need to remember the true meaning of Christmas and what it means to truly have Christmas spirit.

The first, a story about a young girl with true Christmas spirit who quietly teaches her preoccupied family the true meaning of Christmas.

The second features a small child who narrates the Nativity and suggests that people should show greater love to each other and thus, follow Christ's example. It is adorable.

Married life in 4 minutes

2009-12-01T14:59:00.006-07:00

This is a clip from Pixar's most recent film Up. If you haven't seen up yet I highly recommend that you do. It is a sweet and beautiful piece of art, an absolute masterpiece about love, life, and adventure.

This clip is about Ellie and Carl, summarizing their life together as man and wife. It's amazing that in 4 minutes, with no dialogue, that the Pixar team was able to portray the ups and downs of a life-long marriage. I laugh and cry every time I watch it.

What a wonderful tribute to love.

Be sure to watch both clips. :)

After Ellie passes away, Carl flies to Paradise Falls by attaching thousands of balloons to his house. After quite the adventure, he finally arrives to the waterfall that he and Ellie always wanted to go to together. Once there, he feels alone and misses Ellie more than ever. He sadly looks at her childhood "Adventure book" saddened that she died before they could have this adventure together. Watch to see what he finds in the book...

Amazing Dance

2009-11-13T12:39:00.003-07:00

Loved it.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-11-11T11:59:00.004-07:00

Women and Spirituality Survey

2009-11-06T15:17:00.004-07:00

A friend of mine is doing a study on women and spirituality.

She would love to hear your opinion. She has created one of the only surveys designed to assess the influence of spirituality on the lives of women. The results will be compiled in a white paper available this winter. This survey is brief-- only 3 minutes-- and your input is vital to its success. Click below to participate now.

http://tiny.cc/Jc3Kg

Please spread the word by sharing the url. Invite every woman you know! Our goal is a minimum of 5,000 responses.

If you liked the survey, follow her on twitter, facebook, her blog, and her community.

http://twitter.com/nancydsolomon
http://www.facebook.com/nancy.d.solomon
http://www.thesolomonfactor.com/
http://nancydsolomon.ning.com/

Wordless Wednesday

2009-11-04T08:34:00.002-07:00

Marriage quote that makes me smile

2009-11-03T14:03:00.003-07:00

"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness'."

-from the movie Shall We Dance

Halloween

2009-11-03T10:23:00.001-07:00

This Halloween Brett and I decided to go as Ryan and Sharpay Evans from High School Musical.

Wordless Wednesday...

2009-10-28T11:39:00.000-06:00

My cousin Carrie Krainock has a recurring post on her Blog titled Wordless Wednesday. In this she posts a simple photo, no words. Inspired by her, I've decided to start my own Wordless Wednesdays. Here goes!

Summing up summer: Las Vegas

2009-10-26T15:04:00.000-06:00

Brett and I made a pit-stop in Vegas while on our way to AZ with my Mom. We were heading to AZ for my niece Alena's birthday party and to help my Mom move back up to SLC.

On our a quick overnight in Vegas Brett and I planned an amazing date night. We dressed up fancy and went and saw Phantom of the Opera. We followed that up with a delicious buffet. It was so worth it. The Vegas production of Phantom of the Opera was incredible. If you haven't seen it yet I highly recommend taking a trip and seeing it. Even Brett loved the music, scenery, and special effects.

The next day we hit up Serendipity with my Mom. We couldn't get enough of that frozzzen hot chocolate!

Summing up summer: Norway and Sweden

2009-10-26T14:19:00.000-06:00

I have been pretty bad about staying up to date on this blog but I am trying my best to catch up again. Bear with me :)

Sweden and Norway

Brett and I had the amazing opportunity to go to Sweden and Norway with Brett's parents June 18th -July 6th. It was my first time out of the country. I loved meeting all the new people, seeing the new sights, hearing a strange language, and learning about a completely different culture.

In Norway we visited the small town of Mo. Brett has relatives from there. It was a pretty scary drive (literally only 1 car fit on a road at at time and it was just winding around blind turns and into dark tunnel after tunnel), but this sight was worth the trip!

We went on a boat ride around Stockholm for almost 2 hours seeing beautiful architecture like this and learning all about he history of the city.

This was my favorite part of Stockholm, Gamla Stan, the older part of the city. It was such an amazing atmosphere.

This was a big field we passed on our way to catch our ferry to Norway. The colors are gorgeous.

Brett and me in Gamla Stan again. Aren't these little streets and buildings incredible?

We also competed in three track meets while we were there. They were so fun! The atmosphere was so intense and it was so strange listening to all officials speak in Swedish.

Brett and me at the Stockholm Olympic Stadium where they held the 1912 Olympics.

I matched my Seasons Best in the 100 at a meet that was completely JAM PACKED with fans. I couldn't believe how big track was over there!

We spent a lot of time visiting Brett's relatives and family friends. Everyone was so friendly and sweet. We loved our experience going there and hope we can go back again someday.

Fun little note:

The picture that we use with our Blog title was also from our Norway trip. It was taken at 11:45 pm! We were there in the summer so it was light from 3 am till Midnight everyday!

Share the love :)

2009-09-17T15:41:00.000-06:00

This is an amazing video that has a great message no matter what your faith may be.

So often I find myself getting wrapped up in the trivial stresses of daily life that I forget to focus on what is really important in life. This video is a happy reminder that what is most important are the relationships we have with others.

So share the love.

"Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved"

Camping at Island Lake

2009-08-10T00:27:00.000-06:00

Brett and I went camping this past weekend with one of our best good friends Chelsey Kaplar. We went up to the Uintahs and hiked in to Island Lake elevation 11,000 feet. We hiked in about 4 miles armed with tents, beef jerky, "Pit" cards, and freeze dried beef stew. Chelsey provided well needed snack packs and her dog Keeva for bear protection. If Keeva didn't do the trick she also had a can of bear mace tucked in her pocket.

We spent the majority of our time eating (as with most camping excursions) and another large part throwing rocks into the lake from a giant cliff that looked quite a bit like Pride Rock from the Lion King.

Needless to say it proved to be an amazing journey. We enjoyed going back to the basics and keeping ourselves entertained with simple things like: finding the perfect sling shot rock, sabotaging a game of "pit", watching boy scouts jump off a 50 foot cliff into frigid water, breaking firewood with large rocks (or trying to cut through it with a pocket knife... cough... Chelsey) and listening for the code word from Chelsey's tent to tell us she was still alive.

Brett Birkeland! ALL CONFERENCE IN DECATHLON!

2009-05-14T17:04:00.000-06:00

Brett did it! He took THIRD PLACE! He made all conference as a Freshman, following two years of no training on his mission, and as a newlywed who's been commuting to BYU every day to make practices. I'd say it's quite the feat!

It was a pretty dramatic finish. He was going in to finals in fourth place and was lagging the Air Force guy in third by around 70 points... and second place Wyoming by 175 points. It also just so happened that Air Force's favorite event was the 1500. Gripes.... But Brett ran his heart out and managed to beat the guy in second by over 30 seconds!!!! He bumped Wyoming to fourth place and beat him by 3 points! You can't write this stuff!!! It was incredible.

He had a great overall two days in all of his events with All-time/ seasonal PRs in:
Long Jump
100 m Dash
110 Hurdles
Discus

He also had consistent solid performances in Pole Vault and High Jump.

We are SOOO Proud! Pictures to follow!

Conference Championships

2009-05-12T22:12:00.000-06:00

Brett and I will both be competing at the Mountain West Conference Championships this week in Laramie Wyoming.

Brett is going in ranked 2nd in the Decathlon! Decathletes are pretty hard core, they compete in 10 events: 100, long jump, shot put, high jump, 400, 100 hurdles, discus, pole vault, javelin, and the 1,500. It's a two day competition that will take place Wednesday and Thursday. It's a big deal that he is competing because his team only took 28 of their athletes. over 35 of their athletes qualified for Regionals!

On Friday Brett and I will be long jumping at the same time with 40 mph winds. Could be very interesting. :) Then I will be running the starting leg of the 4x100 relay on Saturday. I'm also the alternate for the 4x400.

I am so excited that we get to both go and share this experience together.

Also, I am sooo excited to see how Utah does! We have worked so hard to make this program what it is today. I am so proud of all of our Regional Qualifiers and the girls who work hard everyday to get better. It's sad for me that this may be my last meet as an NCAA athlete. I'm going to miss it, but I am also looking foward to the next phase of my life.

I'll post again after the meet to let everyone know how both of our teams do. :)

Graduation!

2009-04-13T14:47:00.000-06:00

I'm walking on May 8th, 2009 at 9 am at the Jon M. Huntsman Center. Guests are urged to be seated by 8:30 am.

This year's featured speaker is author David McCullough. At the end of the commencement ceremony degrees are conferred en masse by University of Utah President Michael K. Young.

In addition to general commencement, each college holds a convocation ceremony, where students are acknowledged individually by degree.

The Convocation Ceremony for Humanities will be held at the Huntsman Center at 1:45 pm.

For more guest information including campus maps and parking information click here:
http://www.sa.utah.edu/commencement/guests/index.htm?menu=2

Hope you can come!